Wed 09

10 Reasons President Trump Won’t Be That Bad

What Max Reckons Like me, you may be feeling a combination of shock, distress, and terror at the news that Donald J. Trump will become the next leader of the world’s largest military and economic superpower.

But it’s all right! It’s all right. It won’t be that bad. I mean, it will be pretty bad. That’s for sure. But we can get through this. To help you through this difficult adjustment period, here are some comfort thoughts:

  1. Many Trump policies range from mutually contradictory to the physically impossible so they can’t all be implemented.

  2. Writers of satire or absurdist comedy need never again be told that their work is too far-fetched.

  3. Reagan was a TV actor with fantastical economic ideas and latent Alzheimer’s and the US came out of that pretty okay.

  4. Exposure of electoral system that weights votes of residents of North Dakota and Wyoming 3-4X greater than those in California and New York, holds elections on a working Tuesday, and uses plurality voting, may prompt actual change, perhaps to “Best Out Of Three” system, or drawing straws.

  5. He is pretty funny, for a President.

  6. Inevitable war with foreign power and subsequent nuclear winter may offer effective solution to global warming.

  7. Nation avoids messy spectre of four years of depressing gridlock where bitter Republicans hold White House hostage and nothing gets done.

  8. Small children can be told that anything is possible with a straight face.

  9. Nation will undergo a great strengthening, in “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” sense.

  10. Shocking the hell out of the ruling class is necessary from time to time in order to avoid a build-up of complacency and corruption, so why not now. And election campaigns are all about demonizing opponents but only rarely are they actual demons.

Also the UK voted to Brexit, so, you know, sucks to be those guys.


This is where site members post comments. If you're not a member, you can join here. There are all kinds of benefits, including moral superiority!

Lisa (#3622)

Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posted: 1240 days ago

I'm sure at some point I'll be ready for the bright side, but fight now all this has done is remind me that Reagan was able to wreck our economy, is the reason the rich have low taxes, corporations pay almost nothing, unions were decimated quadrupled both our defense spending and our nuclear arsenal and illegally sold guns to Iran, all in his first term. So it turned out pretty bad, actaully.

jtnt (#7230)

Location: darwin
Posted: 1240 days ago

> Reagan was a TV actor with fantastical economic ideas and latent Alzheimer’s and the US came out of that pretty okay.

myeah but nah but, IDGAF how the US comes out of it:
I'm on the side of the rest of the world, mate.

1001.0010.0101 (#925)

Location: Turn left at your CPU
Quote: "How can something be deemed artificial if it is itself. e.g. A.I."
Posted: 1240 days ago

Humans will relegate the dangers of this President to the back of their minds once the next funny cat video appears. Because humans are pathetic.

Claud (#7095)

Location: USA
Quote: "A diffrence that makes no diffrence is no diffrence. "
Posted: 1240 days ago

You really need to have some way of linking this piece, I want to facebook link the poop out of it !
I love your writing :)

Machine Man subscriber Toby O (#2900)

Location: Sydney
Quote: "You can't sell your soul to the devil if he's not buying"
Posted: 1240 days ago


And spot on

John (#5629)

Location: Sydney
Quote: "Just because you haven't heard of it, doesn't mean it's not awesome."
Posted: 1240 days ago

Mate, I think it's time I revisited Jennifer Government. Found myself recommending it to folks lately.

Sally F. (#5444)

Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Quote: "Budokan made Cheap Trick famous, Cheap Trick made Budokan famous. -Rick Nielsen"
Posted: 1239 days ago

Laughter is the only thing that got me through the Regan years. I'm not as funy as I used to be, though.

Comments are now closed for this post.