Tue 04

Sublime Fu*ks

Syrup Paris Hilton FukkHoly crap! I thought I might get some great can designs, because, well, not to boast, but my readers tend to be smart, talented, and exceptionally good-looking. I’m sure you’ve noticed this. But still: holy crap! I am getting some great designs here. It is only a matter of time before Coke or Pepsi blatantly rip these off and launch them as new products. And a special mention to Lucia Suarez for coming up with the brilliant “Kinetic Beverage.” You know in two years they’ll all be called that.

Here are a few of the best entries so far: James F, Nataliya Lalor, Emily Elizabeth Moser, Nathan Carnes, Lucia Suarez, Karan Juneja, Kyle Huberman [1] [2], Chris Hubbard, Andrew Roff, Lori B, Sean Marks, Rod McBride, Shane Smith, Petar.

Lots of people emailed me questions about how to enter, so let me answer some of those here: you should get your entry in this week. A web-friendly JPEG is ideal for submission, but hang on to your high-res original, which we’ll need if you win. And yes, the product’s name is “Fu*k,” asterisk and all.

Next week I’ll create a gallery of all entries, for the film producers to peruse. You’ll be able to do that, too. If you submitted a design but don’t want me to post it or put your name on it, please let me know.

Update: The Fu*k Gallery is now online.

Update 2: Congratulations Mat! Chosen as the best submission from an excellent bunch. When the cans get mocked up, I’ll post a pic. Thanks again to everyone who worked on a design.


This is where site members post comments. If you're not a member, you can join here. There are all kinds of benefits, including moral superiority!

Thomas (#1221)

Location: Germany
Quote: "One more, and I'm going to consider you my penpal."
Posted: 5682 days ago

You're right, they're all really great. My favorite is Shane Smith's, though I also like some of the minimalistic ones.
I'd have to see them on actual cans for a final decision.

I hope they'll get credit (and credits) if one of them is used for commercial purposes in a movie or in the marketing that will surely accompany it.

Karan (#1376)

Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote: "Quid Quid Latine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur - Anything said in Latin sounds important"
Posted: 5682 days ago

whoa, i got a mention! thanks Max!

For what it's worth, I reckon Emily E. M. or Lucia S. probably have better chances than me...

Karan (#1376)

Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote: "Quid Quid Latine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur - Anything said in Latin sounds important"
Posted: 5682 days ago

(apart, of course, from all of the other far more slickly put together entries than mine!)

metalbiteme (#1495)

Location: WALES UK
Quote: "Welcome to nowhere fast. Nothing here ever lasts."
Posted: 5682 days ago

I think Andrew's and James's are my favorite.
When picturing the can in the book i imagined it black and minimalistic.

Nora_15 (#3281)

Location: Norway
Quote: "ehm...."
Posted: 5682 days ago

I like them all!

Amazing.. here is mine.. sendt it today...

Totaly weird and chinldish,and the star thing looks.. ehm like a guitare xD! But I got an excuse to e-mail Max, yay!


Elisha (#1577)

Location: Ontario
Quote: "I am on the next page, the next book."
Posted: 5682 days ago

i'm into the minimalist ones primarily.

but this one:
is 100% insult to max.

either max didn't notice, or he's too big a man to care.

"not a significant source of literary value"
my god.

Keely (#1602)

Location: of course!
Quote: "I always wanted to see the lights of Broadway... but then you get there and they're really kind of annoying."
Posted: 5682 days ago

I think Lori B.'s is the best, but I would switch the colors, i.e. dark gray or black can with silver writing.

Psh. The email for this got marked as spam. I only saw it by chance as I was scanning my spambox today.

Rod McBride (#688)

Location: Gardner, KS
Quote: ""
Posted: 5681 days ago

Well, I notice Elisha didn't get that I was kidding, but hopefully Max did. This is for a send up, remember?

BTW, Max, I'm emailing you a JPEG. Some of the effects in the PDF didn't seem to flatten out properly. Fu*king Illustrator transparency issues!

Mark (#2176)

Location: Ohio, USA
Posted: 5681 days ago

Lori B all the way !!

DewKnight (#815)

Location: WP, CO,USA
Quote: "Booyah"
Posted: 5681 days ago

Max! It's been a while since I last read the book, but aren't there points where the product actually exists? I seem to remember some in a fridge... could they be wanting the images for the actual can in the movie? And launching a new soda with the movie (like Dew Game Fuel) would be really awesome!

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 5681 days ago

Oh yeah, the product exists in the script. So it's possible, just possible, that the movie will get made, and they'll want to use the winning can design, and do an actual drink tie-in, and pay you a hundred grand for the rights, and while doing drugs with the cast and crew you'll become embroiled in a Hollywood sex party scandal.

I'm just saying. It's possible.

Gordon Chow (#3277)

Location: United States
Quote: "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and wonder how the fukk you made grape juice"
Posted: 5681 days ago

I worked on it some more and this is the final result, I have the original files which were too big to put into photobucket...

photobucket site that has all three:

The Design:

design applied on a label:

design on can:

Machine Man subscriber Toby O (#2900)

Location: Sydney
Quote: "vote with your wallet"
Posted: 5681 days ago

I just emailed my idea. It's very low rez, but I've decided low rez is my M.O. My submission to LOLBOTS was also painfully low rez.

Machine Man subscriber Lowly Worm (#3028)

Location: Rockford, IL
Quote: "Insert witty quote here."
Posted: 5681 days ago

The sheer possibility of having producers look at my can creation was cool but now that you've thrown sex and drugs and lots o' cash into the mix it's almost too much to handle!!!!

Hollywood Here I Come!!!!!

Machine Man subscriber Lowly Worm (#3028)

Location: Rockford, IL
Quote: "Insert witty quote here."
Posted: 5681 days ago

Thanks Mark and Keely!!!! :) Lori B.

Petar (#3280)

Location: Oklahoma
Quote: "There's no use being pessimistic. It wouldn't work out anyway."
Posted: 5681 days ago

Thanks for the mention, Max!

Jeffrey (#2286)

Location: Right here
Quote: "Mathematics is a powerful language. Just look at how mathematicians destroyed the housing market."
Posted: 5681 days ago

Wow, those are really good.

Rod McBride (#688)

Location: Gardner, KS
Quote: ""
Posted: 5681 days ago

If I had known about the drugs and sex (and the hundred grand), I'd have worked harder on mine.

Or maybe not.

Michael Ricksand (#2212)

Location: Terra
Quote: "You do not have a right to be stupid."
Posted: 5677 days ago

Thanks for answering the asterisk question before I even asked.

Machine Man subscriber SilverKnight (#2210)

Location: St. Louis
Posted: 5675 days ago

Those are amazing, way to go!

Comments are now closed for this post.