lol omg he is so 1337

Max Barry wrote the novels Syrup, Jennifer Government, Company, Machine Man, and Lexicon. He also created the game NationStates and once found a sock full of pennies.


Thu 14

Annnd we’re back

Max I just got home from a week’s vacation to find that my web host decided that was a good time to kill my site. Mmm, helpful. This is a periodic thing: once every few months, they go, “Hmm, this site seems to be generating load on our server, let’s disable it.” They don’t notify me; they just go ahead and do it. When I notice my site is down, I fix it and send them an abusive e-mail. They apologize profusely, say the tech didn’t follow proper processes, and promise it’ll never happen again. A few months later, it happens again.

This is the fourth time. I’m an idiot for staying with them, right? It’s just that they’re a great host in all other respects. They give me everything I need. They’re practically perfect. It’s just, from time to time, they get violent. But it’s not their fault. They don’t know what they’re doing. They just lose control sometimes. I shouldn’t provoke them with all that traffic. It’s really my fault. I know they really love me.

I’m an idiot, right?


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Tom Hurst (#1186)

Location: Marketing
Quote: "Now with blue bits."
Posted: 5242 days ago

* a cricket chirps*

No Max you're not an idiot. They do love its just that they need to demonstrate it from time to time...

Jim Carson (#231)

Location: Seattle
Quote: "Coca Cola announced a mid-calorie cola named C2, ostensibly to compete with Pepsi "Edge." It's billed as a solution to the low-carb dieters who have been marooned on the distant asteroid where Diet Coke is unavailable."
Posted: 5242 days ago

This is a great philosophical question: if an ISP doesn't fall in a forest, does anyone notice?

shabooty (#637)

Location: D.C./V.A/M.D.
Quote: "I will shake your foundation. I will shake the f**cking rafters. Nobody'll be the same -Danny Bonaduce ....& go visit my blog @:"
Posted: 5242 days ago

I think you're mad you can't take back their 'plug' they got in Company

Emily (#609)

Location: New York
Quote: "When in doubt, fuck it. When not in doubt, get in doubt!"
Posted: 5242 days ago

Don't worry dear boy, we understand. At least our whole livelihood isn't compromised like when Google or LiveJournal fails. ;-)

Justin Holt (#147)

Location: Rochester, NY
Quote: ""
Posted: 5242 days ago

You sound like the girl who justifies going back to the boyfriend who keeps conviently cheating on her.

You've got the act down pat.

Girl takes boyfriend back.
"It'll never happen again, I swear."
"It better not, or I'll leave your ass."
Three weeks later she goes out of town to see her grandma, comes back to find her boyfriend in bed with her cousin.
"What the hell are you doing!"
"Uh, sorry. I promise, it'll never happen again."
"It better now, or I'll leave your ass."

You've even got the justification thing down pat.

Scorned girl talking to her best friend.
"He's an ass," the best friend says.
"Yeah...but he's really good to me when he's not sleeping around."
The best friend says, "He's a loooooooooser."
"Yeah," the girl says looking at her nails, "but he's really hot."

When all else fails, threaten castration. That should do the trick.

Aaron Doucet (#733)

Location: Canada (Sorry)
Quote: "He'd never seen so many expensive pairs of shoes in one place."
Posted: 5242 days ago

Ah, beaurocracy at work...

Rod McBride (#688)

Location: Gardner, KS
Quote: ""
Posted: 5242 days ago

Hey Max, I'm relatively new to doing my own web site, but I've had great luck (and plenty of hand-holding) from DreamHost. When I was casting about for hosting, I ran into web masters who were on DreamHost, and guy's who would say things like, 'I've got to wait for my contract to be up, but I wish I was on DreamHost.

If you tell them I sent you, I'll supposedly get a kickback. I guess in marketing terms, that makes me a 'sneezer.'

So does my web site, that has their banner, as well as a link to your site.

Hopefully I'll get around to developing my 'booklist' page, which of course will feature glowing reviews of 'Syrup' and 'Jennifer Government.'

Pat (#393)

Location: Northern Virginia
Quote: ""Linux wasn't started as any kind of rebellion against the 'evil Microsoft empire.' I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect." --Linus Torvalds (to the New York Times)"
Posted: 5242 days ago

Hmmm, sounds like you might need to get another box and set up gentoo with apache web server on it, that'd show that evil ISP. :) Now that you are on Linux, setting something like apache up should be a breeze. Then just add on MySQL database server and PHP and you'd be all set to bring this site up to its full open-source potential. I'm working on getting apache setup on my box (w/ Fedora Core on it) and it works on my localhost network, but I can't seem to figure out how to get past my stupid router so I can broadcast to the web.

Machine Man subscriber Mapuche (#1184)

Location: Darwin, Australia
Quote: "Inconceivable!"
Posted: 5242 days ago

php doesn't run Perl code and bloxsom is (badly) written in Perl...

Machine Man subscriber Kramy (#818)

Quote: ""it's the way of the future""
Posted: 5241 days ago

Bloody 'Go Daddy' company! You should go for an Aussie ISP anyways Max ....

Gregor (#1182)

Location: Toronto
Quote: "The righteous man is beset on all sides by the tyrannies of evil men."
Posted: 5241 days ago

Yes, and you know it.
This merely shows that your ISP is as bad as the rest of them. They are run by young boys, managed by young boys, and they have a great time living in their little offworld civilisation which are the masters of planet earths websites!. They especially like clients exceeding bandwith so they can 'bring them down to size'. They are passive aggressive, because the cant be actively so. They wear those glasses right?
My suggestion:
Go to their office and find the geeks who did it and befriend them or threaten to hit them. They need to know your a 'real' person. They dont get to see the fleshy naturalness of a real customer. Become real.

Jack (#1194)

Location: UIUC
Quote: "Pants?"
Posted: 5241 days ago

I suggest a more indirect form of communication: like bear traps, or pits full of pungi spikes. And let's face it, there's nothing like a rusty nail to make someone just knock it off.

Think of it as conditioning. If they kill your site, suddenly they find themselves amid a field of camouflaged pain. Admittedly, this may take a few times to really get in place (last I heard a habit takes 18 experiences to solidify), but I think you'll be happy with the results.

I always am.

Rod McBride (#688)

Location: Gardner, KS
Quote: ""
Posted: 5241 days ago

The posts following mine demonstrate what a fresh fish I am when it comes to this choosing a host company. What I forgot to mention, the first person who recommended it to me was Sparq-l at the Cult, who pointed out (they have a banner at that would reinforce this) that DreamHost is also who the Cult uses. Given the volume of message boards and a pair of writer's workshops there, I imagine they can handle something the scale of

When I signed up, looking at their packages (I got their most basic one which is more than adequate for my modest needs), the only thing I could see that might exceed what can be contracted from them would be something like or eBay. I'm sure giants like that have their own server farms and IT guys who wake up at 2:00 a.m. on a Friday night when their pager tells them there's a glitch somewhere.

Or maybe they contract with a bunch of outfits for hosting, I don't know.

And I've only been with DreamHost a couple of months, because I've only had up that long, and it's my first site. Looking at my history in the control panel, my up time has been 100%.

And when I was researching how to get started with sites, I made a checklist of things books and other developers were telling me to look for. Things that even if my crude understanding of HTML didn't allow me to utilize now, that I might want downt he road. DreamHost not only had everything on my wishlist, they had about twice as many additional features I still don't have the foggiest notion how to use.

Blue Virtual and a few others had similar basic packages available, but their 'triple the bandwidth and disk space' hook was too good to pass up. One of my main uses of the hosting space is to park large proofs for my graphic design customers, so I wanted to make sure I had plenty of HD. Even uploading 20+MB proofs and providing source files for clients to repurpose, I haven't even scratched the surface.

I am curious about making my own site at least partially a blog, so I'll be delving into those waters soon. I have poorly updated blogs at a couple of the freebie sites for that, but since I'm even less interesting than Max Barry, I can't imagine who could possibly be reading them. I figure anyone coming to find out what the hell a Midwest Rock Lobster is would be as likely as anyone to read my blog...

OPArsenal (#1236)

Location: Florida, USA
Quote: "The NPA: Good old-fashioned defending!"
Posted: 5241 days ago

Not an idiot. Just overly trusting... :D

Ole (#1218)

Location: Potomac, Maryland
Quote: "The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing."
Posted: 5241 days ago

Why do I enjoy reading a fool's books? I mean, now I can't live with myself! I've enjoyed a book by a person that can't see that his service provider is trying to jip him! What?

nah, just kidding max, they love you... well, you'd better hope so!

Machine Man subscriber Adam (#24)

Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "Why do I blog? Simple, because Max Barry blogs."
Posted: 5240 days ago

Hmmmm...maybe I should create a website.

Sat 16/4/05

I think I should create a website. I don't know what I would put on it, but I think I will make one. I guess I could blog on it and stop wasting everyone's time as they read this. If I blog on my own website,no one read it. Although, I don't think that anyone reads these because no one gives me feedback or anything of that sort.

On another note. My band rocked the hizzouse at a place called Club Logos in Franklin, IN. There were about 20 people there (Sigh). There might be some pictures of Circle of studliness(my band) on their

I think max just said he was an idiot so that everyone would post on here that he is not an idiot. He could be a crazy way to raise his self-esteem because his book isn't coming out until 2006. It also could be because he felt like it added something important to his blog.

I, Adam, am an idiot

No one will post saying that I am not because I am neither a famous writer nor even a good one nor a good human being.
I probably made some grammatical error in that sentence to prove it.

anyways, until next time.

I am Adam!

Machine Man subscriber Adam (#24)

Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "Why do I blog? Simple, because Max Barry blogs."
Posted: 5240 days ago

He=It, in the second sentence in the third paragraph


Nines (#1203)

Location: California
Quote: "Go then. There are other worlds than these."
Posted: 5240 days ago

It's ok Max you can find another host. *comforts* One with security and a bigger server size. I know hosts that would kill to have a site like yours. Maybe you just need to get out more. I might be able to fix you up with this host I know from high school. ;)

Alexander (#1263)

Location: Sweden
Quote: "Russell was not alone in underestimating chickens. After conducting an early experiment in refrigeration by stuffing a hen with snow, Sir Francis Bacon contracted a chill and died in 1626."
Posted: 5232 days ago

I have nothing to add to this, really, just thought I'd say hi. :)

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