Thu 31

y i no post


y u no post


Well let me ask you, Anonymous: y U no post? I mean, I don’t know you. But I’m guessing you haven’t blogged in a while. Why is that? Is it because you decided the world doesn’t actually need your random thoughts inserted into it on a semi-weekly basis? I’m just spit-balling. But that sounds right to me. I mean, there are a lot of human beings out there, Anonymous. A lot. And they can’t all be the chosen one sent to save humanity with the power of their opinions.

I know, I know; you used to feel that way. You used to be young, Anonymous. You were filled up with the righteous clarity and passionate delusion of youth that other people need to hear what you have to say. And there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s a good thing for young people. But you’re not 23 any more, are you?

And opinions have become so digestible. You were raised in an age of op-ed pieces, I bet, where people thought about what they wanted to say, spent some time composing it into robust form, and delivered it in meal-sized portions. Today you wouldn’t be halfway through that process before the social media maelstrom had eaten, judged, and moved on, all in punctuation-free one-liners. That’s okay; that’s an evolution of sorts; but it’s not exactly your sweet spot, is it? If you’re delivering 500-word blogs (blogs!) a day after the fact, you’re kind of constantly late to the party, right?

But I do think you should start posting, Anonymous. Like for me, I had a really terrific year creatively in 2018; one of my most enjoyable. I didn’t post about it, though, for a few reasons, a big one being that the moment I say out loud something about the writing going well, I can already feel the thousand demons of writers’ Hell winging their way toward me. But then a few people started to think I had been killed in that fake balcony fall where Wikipedia says I broke my arm,* or abducted by winged writers’ demons, so I felt a little guilty about that.

And when you do post, Anonymous, you often get reminded that there are people out there who do like to know that you are still alive, and not consumed by demons, and some of those people you’ve been connected to for a really long time. And that’s nice. That’s really nice. So I do want you to give it a shot, Anonymous. Get back out there. Share your irrelevant thoughts, because that’s what people do. The second you have a book deal.

* P.S. I mean, Wikipedia is amazingly good, but this is how information works today: Some random person altered my wiki page on April Fools’ Day to say I was hurt falling off a balcony. I tweeted that this was not true (although funny). Wikipedia was updated to say I was only “reportedly” hurt falling off a balcony.


This is where site members post comments. If you're not a member, you can join here. There are all kinds of benefits, including moral superiority!

Robin Sloan (#2036)

Location: California
Posted: 1943 days ago

It is a truth well-known to history's wisest strategists that a handful of grateful blog (blog!) commenters can hold off a whole host of winged writer-demons. BEGONE, DEMONS!

ryandake (#2199)

Location: scenic monterey, ca
Quote: ""The rest is not our business.""
Posted: 1943 days ago

i for one am so glad you have not been devoured by demons or fallen off balconies! and also i totally dig your blog thoughts cause they're always interesting ones. happy you're back and had a good writing year :-)

Machine Man subscriber M.I.Minter (#347)

Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA
Quote: "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Posted: 1943 days ago

I like t know you’re still alive....still alive!

Machine Man subscriber John Wall (#4218)

Location: Boston
Posted: 1943 days ago

Wait... are you saying there's a new book deal?

Machine Man subscriber branden (#2100)

Location: northern california
Quote: "...and this is how you betray me!?"
Posted: 1943 days ago

So you're still denying the balcony incident?

Machine Man subscriber Lucy (#664)

Location: Blue Mountains
Posted: 1942 days ago

Yeah, I'm with John... the absolute second?

Machine Man subscriber Adam (#24)

Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "Why do I blog? Simple, because Max Barry blogs."
Posted: 1942 days ago

I haven't posted in a long time either. So I get it.

Nichole (#3530)

Location: Conway, Arkansas
Posted: 1942 days ago

I love getting random, hilarious blog updates! When I check my email in the mornings and there is blog from Maxx i get the same feeling I get on Xmas morning when I get something I actually want!!

David Buckingham (#5898)

Location: Boston, MA
Quote: "... will be the first against the wall when the revoulution comes."
Posted: 1942 days ago

It was the demons that fell off the balcony, trying to fly... I keep telling them, "The wings are ORNAMENTAL, you idiots!" But they don't listen... they are demons, after all. Deafened by the years listening to the screams of damned writers consigned to write trashy romance novels, using those huge novelty pencils on really delicate tissue paper, that keeps tearing.

But don't worry, they're still coming for you... slowly.

Thanks for wonderful blogs, I do enjoy them.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 1942 days ago

Ahhh, you guys are too good to me.

Also way too sharp.

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 1941 days ago

So what's it like to have a bunch of random smart asses, but in the good way, hanging on your every word as if it were gold in the hopes in the hopes to elicit a laugh from the guy who did the book trailer for Machine Man? It must be interesting.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 1939 days ago

I mean it's good, Ben. It's as good as it sounds.

towr (#1914)

Location: Netherlands
Posted: 1939 days ago

Good to hear you haven't been consumed by balconies or fallen off demons.
I kinda wondered what was up when I checked last week and saw it had been half a year since there was a sign of life.

The wikipedia thing is kinda funny; I hadn't really considered that if someone falsely reports something, then everyone else can truthfully report that it's been reported. And that sounds like it's almost the same thing. It's like newslaundering, making false news clean and truthy.

Mat Sleightholme (#7822)

Location: UK
Posted: 1937 days ago

I'd still rather read your opinion that much of what is on the internet, think of it as your duty to add balance and humour :)

Brenda (#7217)

Location: Berowra Bushland
Quote: "entering your world via the book portal is awesome"
Posted: 1934 days ago

So the balcony fall is an example of fake news? Although broken arms are a good cover story for not writing, not that I would believe you would stoop to such tricks.

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