Max in America 2007

Now when people ask me what I'll be doing for Spring Break, I can say that I'll be seeing Max Barry! Body shots!

Since you planned the us tour, let us talk about the european tour!? max!?

What Robert said.

I want your autograph on my boo...ks. Please.

I have to say I am disappointed with the cities they have picked for your tour. I know there is a lot of flying involved, but Madison, Milwaukee and Chicago are all basically a few hours away from eachother! You would have been better off just adding two days of travel rest in the middle of the tour and made it more diverse in the offering. I would have suggested NY City and Orlando, Fl or even Atlanta to catch more of your fan base in those areas... as it is you are coming nowhere near the north or south east part of the US. I would basically have to drive at least 20 hours to any of the locations...

Hopefully next time it will be more well rounded and I hope you have a good trip.

Sing the Pledge? Nah. They'll just do a full body x-ray to see your bloomers.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/traveloutdoors/2003590084_webscanner26.html

uk tour moan moan...

You reckon they'll still let you in, Mad Max?

Yes! It's official! I've already told my wife we're going to see you on March 27th in Milwaukee. (Of course, she just casually said, "OK," as if this wasn't the coolest thing ever.)

So... at the Milwaukee reading, the gawky guy looking proudly embarrassed as his 2 year old is singing to whoever over in the children's section... that'll be me.

And, BTW... I have to recant my original pledge to by at least 2 hard covers. Schwartz since that since this tour is to promote the paperback... that's what they'll have in stock. Their supplier doesn't have any hard cover Jennifer Governments. So I'll be getting a hardcover and a paperback Company and a paperback Jennifer Government (if they have one),

I love how they start out with San Francisco, then end up in a small town across the hills. And Danville?! Ah well, at least it's spring break, plenty of time to dink around and go to book signings. ^_^

See ya there Max!

Well, considering the closest you come to me this time around is a 13 hour car ride, I think I'm gonna miss out. Oh well. Enjoy the folks in the Midwest, I hear they're still angry about being skipped over last time, and they have pitchforks.

Sky Harbor airport in Phoenix is the first one to try out this new full-body x-ray scanner.
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0221backscatter-ON.html
But they don't use it on everybody; just Australians, I think.

I'm going to have to agree with Katrina here. .. Danville?! Dude, that's like in the boondocks.

It figures that I'm going to be in Dallas and not Austin when you come.

Hooray for Phoenix! As promised, I will buy you a beer (and I promise I'm not crazy).

OK. I make no promises.
Ivan

Are there really that more Barry fans in Wisconsin than the entire East Coast? It's an utterly bizarre itinerary... maybe your publisher is trying to do you in...

Danville,ca? not a complete complaint you will still be within in driving distance but really what happened to San Francisco? what I dont understand is every other stop is a fairly large city and then you throw in Danville!

I too do not understand how Danville happened. San Francisco, Danville. San Francisco, Danville. Sorry, does not compute. Also I'll be out of town so it hardly matters. Argh. Oh, well. You'll come again, right?

Oh man. No where even CLOSE to me.

I'm with the East Siders. Two stops in Wisconsin and then Chicago? And nothing farther east than that? Boo.

Max's Publisher, if you're reading this, next time don't double up on the Badger State and leave out everything east of Indiana. Thank you.

You know what would be a nice place to visit, Max? Canada. Rocks and trees and water. Yup. Really beautiful. Fresh air. Mountains. Book stores. I hear Vancouver is especially nice. Maybe you should visit Canada, Max. And while you're here you might as well do a reading or two...please?

when i lived near chicago, you went to the east.

now i live in nyc and you are going to chicago.

harumph! your publisher plots against me ONCE AGAIN!

as a loyal reader, i sense CONSPIRACY!

Danville over San Francisco? WTF? 7pm in Danville that's a bad joke, the commuter traffic would make everyone going there by car late and arrive out of sorts. There's no round trip mass transit going to fricking Danville at that time of day. Even if we took BART and got as far as it would go we'd have to transfer to the LAST BUS OF THE DAY to get to that stupid book store. "Bus #960c/Bishop Ranch at 6:37 pm (last bus of the day)" That's after leaving San Francisco 2 hours ahead of time to get to you. Now how will we get back to San Francisco? Max, I love you, buy your books, tell other people to buy your books, but I'm not walking on a darkened road in a bedroom community to get back to BART to return to San Francisco. Not for you. Not for anyone. Tell your organizers that Danville is a bedroom community, filled with commuters, who most likely work for corporations that you write about in "Company". They most likely don't have time to read a book because they have a hellish commute TO San Francisco. ARRRGH! Why didn't your organizers schedule you at Stacys Bookstore. It's in down town San Francisco. You could have caught the business crowd before they drove home to Danville and those of us who reduced our carbon footprint by being mass transit riders could have reached you easily.
http://www.staceys.com/

I won't see you. I'm very bummed.

Max I'm thrilled that you'll be in Chicago. Incidentally, the book club at my College discussed Jennifer Government today. See you in Chicago.

Actually, I'll volunteer to take people back to SF if someone needs it. Carpooling would be better then going it alone anyways.

If someone wants a ride back, let me know. I suppose you'll have to email me, [email protected] (Please don't make me go all the way to the Sunset :P)

Have a great US tour Max. As to new security protocols - oh the probing! The anal probing...

For crying out loud, no Kansas City? Nothing even in the vicinity?

They send us great contemporary writers all the time. Chuck Palahniuk, David Sedaris, etc. Max Barry is a great contemporary writer, therefore he should be coming in to Unity Temple like the others.

Hell, you don't even have to be great: John Irving isn't great and he hits Unity Temple every time he publishes a 900 page account of his sexual hangups.

The nearest place is Illinois. I'm going to cry now.

Go somewhere in Tennesse! Like Martin of South Fulton.

I haven't seen one of your books. Therefore you must come and illuminate this redneck area!

Though I have absolutely nothing to do with it, I feel somehow proud that you're making two stops in Wisconsin -- one of them a mere mile or so from my house in Madison. Looking forward to it!

Why Wisconsin twice? Why?

YES!!!!!!!

Also, I didn't know the pledge of allegiance had a tune...

*I think he's making it up*

Don't bring liquids!!

OH NO.

I just looked at your LA date. I'm in New York then.
AGH.
You have to change it.
I don't know you or anything, but maybe you could do me this favor of postponing LA for, like, two days, even. Capiche?

Moan. My city -- dissed again. Max, you can't possibly talk them into a stop off in Hawaii, can you? I mean, it's on the way to and from !

Psst, wanna know what Max's new book is called?

http://tinyurl.com/2ed5mx

When you Americans see him on his LA to Danville world tour you might like to ask him why he's happy to tell a press hack something he kept from us, his uber loyal blog slaves. Then hurt him :-)

this tour sucks. I demand a re-tour! lol

This has nothing to do with tours, but i saw your inteview in the Sydney Morning Herald, and I just want to say I live in Australia, and I know who you are! So that should count :D

Anyway, get some Aussie tours underway!

I'm glad your comming to the states and within a 6 hour driving distance of me.

On another note, You do realise that now you have mentioned the words America, Terroists, and Prison systems in your blog. Now you will be "randomly selected" for an extra secure screening. Then detained for a long peroid of time without being charged for a crime for the suspicious behavoir of using the word Terroist and probablly get some where in the picture the proper pronunciation of the word Nuclear as a holding statement. This won't be a charge against you, but you will be detained. Damn Patriot Act!

All Grammarical errors, made up words, and improper spellings are credited to the No Child Left Behind Act of G.W.Bush. Remeber kids, you don't have to try in school to graduate and get a diploma, It's your right to have it.

Welcome to America. Again.

How cool is this...he cancels Ann Arbor Michigan and ruin's my year, only to find out he'll be in Colorado on the week I have to be there on business. SEE YA MONDAY 3-26!

I wonder if Max draws hot chicks to his book readings... even more reason to be annoyed that he ain't coming to DC (:

I would have guessed that New York City would have been worthy of a stop. Oh, well. Maybe next time. Enjoy the trip.

Today my friends, is the 18th of March. It is the 34th birthday of my stepson Max. It is also that one day in the year when I contemplate the many wonderful skills and abilities possessed by our favourite author. His incredible wit, creative genius, high intellect and broad range of knowledge, combined with a wonderful sense of good will towards his fellow travellers in this dimension, make him without question, an outstanding human being. Even his physical presence and build are to be admired.

Today also happens to be the day when I have my annual visit to the dark side, when I reflect on my own personal deficiencies and shortcomings and ask myself the obvious question.

HOW IS IT THAT MAX AT 34 YEARS OF AGE KNOWS MORE, AND HAS MORE CREATIVE GENIUS, THAN I DO AT THE AGE OF 62?

This question prompts, or should I say did prompt, much consternation with me, until Friday that is. You see, on Friday, my wife (Max's mum) brought home a birthday card outlining so many of Max's fine attributes in some detail. My heart sank, my chest tightened as I was awakened to the looming depression associated with Max's birthday each year. Then, suddenly the words on the card sank in.

'Anyone who is born on the eighteenth of the month has these wonderful qualities!'

The penny dropped - this is pure luck - Max was born lucky - I wasn't - it all made sense. He was born on the 18th, I was born on the 3rd! He drew the lucky number and all the benefits. I, on the other hand, drew the unlucky number, which in turn was also drawn - out of a barrel - by the Australian government, thus committing me to two years national service and placement at the gateway of the hell that was the Vietnam War.

So, my friends, the lesson to be learned from this experience is not to be too despondent when in the presence of genius or high achievers as it is all pure luck!
We arrive with a certain set of marbles and no matter how hard we play the game, it is unlikely that we will add to our collection unless, of course, we were born on the EIGHTEENTH!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!

If they required foreigners to sing the National Anthem or recite the Pledge of Allegiance they wouldn't be able to find enough qualified customs agents to judge the would-be visitors. I can't imagine the training sessions involved in instituting a requirement like that. Of course, they probably wouldn't expect the agents to actually *memorize* it. They'd probably just give them cheat sheets. But then they have to teach them how to read....

Att: Milwaukee MB Fans

The correct address is
Harry w Schwartz Bookshops
2262 S Kinnickinnic Ave, Milwaukee, 53207
(414)481-3401

See ya there Max!

Cory, thanks for that! I had the wrong Schwartz address. But I have it listed as Schwartz Bay View, which IS correct. Crowd the store!