Wed 16


Max I haven’t had a cold in 18 months. I am indestructible. I could walk through a room full of germs right now and be totally fine. You might say: But Max, you’re just seeing the natural effect of everyone masking and distancing. I say: I can repel illness through sheer force of will.

Sometimes, if I feel a cold coming on, I’ll go for a run. After 30 minutes of heart-pounding, lung-bursting, sweat-filled exercise, I often feel pretty okay. Maybe this is just relative to the experience of being mid-run while having cold symptoms. But even afterward, the cold seems to back off, like I showed it who’s boss.

I know what you’re thinking: This sounds like indisputable science. And you’re right. After all, germs and whatnot are small. You can’t even see them. Whereas I can see the results of my own decision-making. For example, if I run more often, and also there’s a global pandemic that cuts seasonal flu rates by 95%, who can say whether the pandemic really made any difference? Whereas I definitely did run more often.

There’s a thing called “locus of control,” where you can be an “internal” person who believes you’re in charge of your own destiny, or an “external” person who thinks you’re the puppet of larger forces. Neither is supposed to be right; it’s just a way to categorize your personality. Me, I believe both are wrong. To me, good things are caused by my own behavior, while bad things are the fault of other people. Otherwise it’s, what, my fault that I’m not winning Olympic medals in between my movie roles? That doesn’t sound right. And all the good things in my life, those are largely because I was lucky enough to be born in a country where I don’t need to dig for water? I don’t think so. I do not want to think so.


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Machine Man subscriber branden (#2100)

Location: northern california
Quote: "...and this is how you betray me!?"
Posted: 1075 days ago

You are here giving voice to things that I did not even know I was thinking.

Comfed (#8266)

Location: Nowhere
Quote: "Shrimp conspire behind closed doors."
Posted: 1075 days ago

Too insightful. Truth too hard for readers. 0.5/5 stars.

Radiatia (#6360)

Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Posted: 1075 days ago

I was raised with something of the opposite mindset: Anything good in my life was obviously the result of sheer luck, anything bad in my life was all my fault.

As a result, I'm psychologically crippled and constantly apologising for my own existence.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 1074 days ago

Thank you branden and Comfed.

I got halfway through writing this blog and couldn't decide whether it was supposed to be satire or not. Because I really do harbor an unfounded belief in my ability to run off colds. In the end, I figured there was no need to decide.

@Radiatia: Well that's not great. This kind of thing makes me think of Vladmir Putin. Stay with me. I am totally sure that when people like Vladmir Putin lie on their deathbed, they think back over their reign of terror and conclude that they lived pretty good lives. They made money for their family, they accomplished what they wanted, etc etc. And the fact that they also, you know, had people murdered or impoverished or whatever, that doesn't really factor into it for them. Meanwhile there are people like you feeling bad about nothing. The other week, I was feeling bad about nothing, and then I thought, "Well what about Putin," and I felt better, because compared to him, I don't have anything to apologize for.

Machine Man subscriber Sara Leigh (#4075)

Location: Northern Virginia
Posted: 1073 days ago

Sound reasoning! I didn't get sick over the past 16 months or so, and I find it hard to believe that it's just because I was masked on the few times I ventured outside my condo. No, it's because I made conscious decision not to get sick until the pandemic is over. I think my success rate proves that I'm in control here.

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