Tips for Working at Home

I’ve been a full-time writer for years, so I know a few things about working from home. Here are the most important things to know if you’re starting out:

1. Watch Your Posture

   At home, you may not have a great chair, and in my experience, prolonged sitting with poor posture can summon the imp minions of Hell Queen Amadralyne, Ender of Souls. These imps are relatively benign, at least while the Treaty of a Thousand Tears holds, but nevertheless they’re a distraction you don’t need, particularly if they manage to inhabit a child or pet.

2. Do Not Answer the Wall Spirits

   After you’ve been working from home for a few weeks, Aurealis Spirits may begin to manifest themselves in the walls of your work space. The behavior of Spirits varies, but commonly they ask questions such as, “Did Jeff get offended at your email?”, “Is this where you thought you’d be at this stage of your life?”, or “Is it time to upgrade your operating system?” These are tricks. Ignore them.

3. Go For a Walk

   It sounds trite, but the longer you sit at home working, the more dark energy you absorb from the Fiststrike Clan of Unsoothed Warlocks. You may not even notice this happening until you realize it’s five PM and you have a ceaseless urge to gather duck eggs and chalk. Take regular breaks outdoors to shake this out. But, you know, don’t touch anything.

4. Avoid Answering Every Phone Call

   I realize not everyone can do this, but for me, the best thing about working from home is that nobody can see you dodging a phone call. Phone calls are bombs people toss into your work space to blow up your ability to get things done, as well as attack vectors for Valkyries of the Eternal Scream. Let them go to voicemail while you take a solid run at your work.

5. Consider Headphones

   Piping music through a good set of headphones will help you accomplish Tips #2 and #4.

6. Maintain Social Bonds

   Working from home can be isolating, and when you’re isolated, you can fall into strange thought patterns and delusions—for example, believing your co-workers are regular people, when in fact they are under the sway of the Mistress of Unbearable Light. This is dangerous, because the Mistress holds ambitions to conquer the Twenty-Nine Realms, and sooner or later, the Breaker isn’t going to stand for it. When that time comes, you don’t want to be dragged away from your work to fight an ethereal mass of pure energy. Invest a little time now to avoid complications later.

There’s more, but that should get you started. Good luck! When done right, working from home can be an enriching and satisfying experience. Just watch your posture.