Mysterious Packages
People are mailing me strange things. A couple of weeks ago
I got an envelope that had nothing inside but a small
card with “THANK YOU” printed on the front and “Jennifer
Government #75” hand-written on the back.
Now, it’s nice to be thanked. People should thank me more often. But—wha-huh? What’s it for? For writing the novel? Who’s it from? And what does the #75 mean? Did I miss the first 74 notes? Is it a series of clues? Is it someone who writes thank you notes to all the authors they like, and I’m the 75th?
Then a few days ago I checked my mail box and inside is a DVD of the movie Office Space. Everybody’s been telling me I have to see this film, but I’ve never gotten around to it. Now somebody anonymously mailed it to me. Who? God?
I’ve heard that the best thing about being famous is that you get a lot of free stuff. This I can believe. But I’m quasi-famous, at best. And not many people know my postal address.
0 commentsMicrosoft & me
Nothing inflames hatred of Microsoft quite like redesigning your web site.
Except, I guess, having your innovative internet business crushed through
monopolistic abuse of market power. Yeah, that’s probably worse. But
designing your web site means having thoughts like this: “Okay, I can
work around Internet Explorer 6’s float bug using absolute positioning, but
that means I run into IE5’s positioning bug—which I guess I could fix
by exploiting its CSS bug—” And so on.
I tell you, if everybody didn’t use Internet Explorer as their browser, nobody would use it.
When Doubleday asked me for an author photo for Jennifer Government, I e-mailed them a whole bunch of snaps. Most were of me looking like I thought authors were meant to look like: serious, thoughtful, smoking a pipe and rubbing my tweed elbow patches, that kind of thing. But one was this one I took of myself with my tongue poking out—which, of course Doubleday chose for the book jacket.
Now that’s okay—people get the impression that I like smashing up hotel rooms, but that’s actually kind of cool—but the problem is I’m sitting in front of a standard Windows desktop. I can protest that I dual-boot Linux all I like; it makes no difference. In the eyes of geeks around the world, I am forever shamed.
Phoo
Right now I’m in a Seattle hotel room, having just finished the last bookstore appearance on my US book tour. It’s been such a blast; thanks to everyone who came along! I hope it was good for you too.
Return of the Syrup (part two)
Syrup is back in Australia and New Zealand! Apparently the publisher was checking down the back of a couch for a TV remote and instead found 2,000 copies. Or maybe it was a warehouse, not a couch. Whatever. This means that like in the US and Canada, while most bookstores won’t have Syrup on the shelves, they can now easily order it in for you.
Because there’s limited stock, if you’re keen to get your mitts on a copy in Australia or New Zealand, now’s the time to act. (By going to a bookstore and ordering a book. Was that clear already? Okay.)
Hearing voices
Borders has announced the finalists for its
2003
Original Voices award, and Jennifer Government is one of them!
I’ve never felt so warm and fuzzy toward a chain store. Although I can’t help but wonder if the idea of going after Barnes & Noble with a private army really tickled Borders’ fancy.
The winner is announced in March, so I have that long to arrange horrible accidents for Monica Ali, Mark Haddon, Khaled Hosseni, Audrey Niffenegger, and Julie Orringer. No, wait! That might trigger a sympathy vote. Maybe I should toss myself down some stairs.
Only a week or two now before my US book tour! I talk, I read, I sign books, I answer questions; it’s like a wild and crazy party for librarians. You should come along.
Paperback coming real soon now
Jennifer Government arrives in paperback in the US and Canada on January 6th, just in time to be purchased with that gift voucher you got for Christmas. Or, if someone gave you some OTHER book, you know, by some OTHER author, you can return that and exchange it for mine. Those other authors are probably rich and successful already, anyway. I bet they hire college students to convert a half-page of wine-stained notes into a finished novel, then slap their name on it. I, meanwhile, have to convert my own wine-stained notes.
To celebrate this, or, more accurately, to attempt to kick sales of it along, in early February I’m coming to the US and doing a 10-city book tour. This is terrific, and not just because my publisher is going to pay for my room service. It means I get to meet people who read my book, which is lots of fun; also oddly reassuring. Check out my tour dates!