Thu 31

Closer, my pet. Closer…

Company My publisher just made a big mistake. They e-mailed me a list of the places they’re thinking of sending me on my 2007 US book tour, and I said, “How about I put this on my web site and ask what people think?” And my publicist, Martin—I think he must be new; it’s the only explanation—said, “Good idea.”

What Martin fails to realize is that I have just cleverly arranged for everyone who will be upset that I’m not coming to their town to be angry at him instead of me.

What Martin should have done is what all my previous publicists did: present the schedule only when it’s nailed down. That way I’m left helplessly trying to explain to irate, neglected fans why I’m visiting four cities on the west coast but none between L.A. and New York.

Instead, what we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a tentative schedule. And the publisher wants to know what you think. So go ahead! And remember: there’s no reason they couldn’t send me to every town in America, if they cared enough!

Okay, that’s not true. I was exaggerating for comic effect. The number of cities is probably fixed, due to financial reasons and the fact that I’m not that famous. But if you’ve got a good reason why they should send me to one place and not another, post in the comments here and Martin will read it.

Here’s the list:

  • Boston
  • Chicago
  • Ann Arbor
  • Dallas
  • Austin
  • Denver/Boulder
  • San Francisco
  • Either Madison or Los Angeles

It is actually very cool for a publisher to do this. In fact, I’ve never heard of one asking fans where they’d like an author to visit before.

Update: Whoa! That’s a lot of comments. I found out that Martin is on vacation this week, so I guess he’ll come back to a nice surprise. Wait, I mean, “violent argument.” That’s it.


This is where site members post comments. If you're not a member, you can join here. There are all kinds of benefits, including moral superiority!

Machine Man subscriber Danni (#357)

Location: England
Quote: "Eagerly awaiting the European Tour."
Posted: 6479 days ago

That's all very nice and good, but when are you going to tour Europe? Who do I have to hassle so I can get to meet you, and sign my very battered copy of Jennifer Government?

Richard Giles (#2114)

Location: Perth
Posted: 6479 days ago

Perth! ;P

Christopher Warren (#2637)

Location: Lakeville, MN
Quote: ""Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" - Henry Ward Beecher"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I'd love to see you come through Minneapolis/St. Paul - we're in the same region as Ann Arbor, Madison, and Chicago, have significantly more people than Ann Arbor or Madison, and we're two of the most literate cities in the country (2nd and 9th, respectively), a statement I can back up with science! And you wouldn't want to tangle with science on something like this, would you?

Machine Man subscriber Devin (#100)

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Quote: ""Toast sweat! It's the scourge of our time!""
Posted: 6479 days ago

Los Angeles! I'm moving back there in a month and I missed your first trip to LA since I've been at college in Florida.

Machine Man subscriber Bushra (#36)

Location: Fremont, California
Quote: ""
Posted: 6479 days ago

Woohoo! San Francisco! I'm fine with the list :)

Machine Man subscriber Alex (#237)

Location: London, England
Quote: "We're today's scrambled creatures, locked in tomorrow's double feature (Bowie)"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Defo need London!

Mincetro (#584)

Quote: "This isn't skiing"
Posted: 6479 days ago

It's awesome that you're touring america, but you know what'd be even cooler? Touring Australia!

Henry T. Monkeypimpenstein (#1212)

Location: Wellington, NZ
Quote: "Monkeypimp: Geeky enough to use his lame NS forum name here too."
Posted: 6479 days ago

The city nearest to me is about 10,800km away.


Helen (#362)

Location: UK
Posted: 6479 days ago

I agree with London.

Chris McBride (#1977)

Location: Belfast, N.Ireland
Quote: "Plagiarism saves thinking time"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Come to Belfast, Ireland. We need someone to liven up this city, if only for one day, and you match the description.

Tommy Conant (#443)

Location: Orlando FL
Quote: "I'd kill to win the Nobel Peace Prize!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Argh! Why do publicists and concert planners always skip Florida? It is not our fault that we jut out into the ocean and are not surrounded by land mass like everyone else. You should come to orlando; it is after all the vacation capital of the world and other Barry fans can plan around that.

Flynn (#520)

Location: Chicago, IL USA
Quote: "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Hurray, Chicago!

Looking forward to dates and details.

Karan (#1376)

Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote: "Quid Quid Latine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur - Anything said in Latin sounds important"
Posted: 6479 days ago


C'mon Max, some home-country love eh? =) I'd buy your book if any book store in the damn city had them in stock.

Jason (#1193)

Location: Indianapolis, IN
Quote: "The bulwark of the suggestion box has failed."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Huzzah for Chicago! If/When you are in Chicago, I will be driving up from Indianapolis for you.

So dont' you dare let them take chicago off the list, or retribution will be meted out with swiftness ... ON MY BLOG!!!!


Machine Man subscriber Jeff (#787)

Location: Berlin, Deutschland
Quote: "Give a man a match and he'll stay warm for the rest of the day; Set a man on fire and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Cleveland, Ohio! If for no other reason than no popular authors seem to come here. You would be like a god among mortals. People would flock to your signing just to catch a glimps of your glory. It would be the biggest thing since . . . well, I can't think of anything bigger then having Max Barry in town! (And you could crash at my place for free!)

Konrad Riecke (#2040)

Location: Gaithersburg, MD
Posted: 6479 days ago

Washington, DC! Lots of bookstores and you definitely need another city on the East Coast.

Machine Man subscriber Katrina (#847)

Location: SF, CA
Quote: "Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." -- Mae West"
Posted: 6479 days ago

San Francisco! :D Easier than Mountain View.

But no New York and two Texas cities? o.O Little weird there.

FoxFire (#648)

Location: FL
Quote: "It's a forest of fingers!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Florida would be great! Either Orlando, like someone mentioned above, or you could come to the University of Florida in Gainesville, which is where I'm in school :)

jojo (#2638)

Location: brewster, ny
Posted: 6479 days ago

new york! because... well, it's new york!!! ;)

Machine Man subscriber Xpovos (#958)

Location: Washington D.C.
Quote: "Time not important, only life important"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I'll second D.C., just remind your publicist that D.C. is the third largest media city market in the country. Though with the geography around here, you'll likely end up doing someting in Northern Virgina. Probably Tyson's Corner. Still, Alton Brown did that, and they sold out every copy of his book at 5 surrounding Borders for autographs.

Jockey (#142)

Location: Chicago
Quote: "Ooops, that was my insulin inhaler."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Third for Chicago.

JB (#2465)

Location: Southern Illinoise
Quote: "I love you so much, now let's get something to eat."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Please come to St. Louis. It's a natural stop-off from Chicago. Or, Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, Illinois. Great writing campus. Past teachers include Brady Udall, Richard Russo, and currently, Mike Magnuson.

Sandy Hemingway (#827)

Location: Ann Arbor
Quote: "I became a real wife today! Wanna know how?"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Hoorah! You're coming back to Ann Arbor! Now I can creep you out again with my extreme fan-liness!

shabooty (#637)

Location: D.C./V.A/M.D.
Quote: "I will shake your foundation. I will shake the f**cking rafters. Nobody'll be the same -Danny Bonaduce ....& go visit my blog @:"
Posted: 6479 days ago

def. DC because you go to "DC" and that encompasses
DC/VA/MD = a lot of folks!
maybe even a couple groupie emo chicks.

Zach (#897)

Location: Boston, MA, USA
Posted: 6479 days ago

Come to Boston. Not only isit where I live, but it is also hope to some real nice indie book stores. It would be grea to hav you come to one of them. Supprt the litte guy and be in the city that firt stuck it to England.

Al (#2419)

Location: Toronto
Quote: "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
Posted: 6479 days ago

No Canadian stops?

Erik Yeargan (#1173)

Posted: 6479 days ago

So near (geographically)
yet so far (culturally).

If you've never been, well, we have a saying: "attache ta tuque!"
meaning, "hold on to your hat!"

Of course, this is assuming that you enjoy great food and joie de vivre.

If not, never mind....

Chris (#2639)

Location: Ann Arbor
Posted: 6479 days ago

Ann Arbor! Woo!

From Wikipedia:
"Among U.S. cities, Ann Arbor ranks first in the number of booksellers and books sold per capita."

Machine Man subscriber Adam (#24)

Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "Why do I blog? Simple, because Max Barry blogs."
Posted: 6479 days ago


Max Barry is finally coming back to the midwest. Chicago! Horray!


Paula (#853)

Location: Germany/Texas
Quote: "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Dallas AND Austin? How about the Gulf? Houston is a marvelous place to be :-). Makes for a bigger range of people, too.

Julian Bennett Holmes (#2209)

Location: New York, NY USA
Posted: 6479 days ago


No New York?!

Jack (#2640)

Location: New York
Posted: 6479 days ago

You gotta come to New York!!! Coming to America and not going to NY is like going to England and not visiting London...

Saban (#15)

Location: Northern Virginia, USA
Quote: "Well, you may not get hurt, but huff puff, you won't get loved either."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Konrad Riecke (#2040), Xpovos (#958), shabooty (#637), and myslef all agree.

Washington, DC.
Please? :-)

Machine Man subscriber Barry Mitchell (#1001)

Location: Saukville, Wisconsin
Quote: ""A hamster's like a small camel" - Ben Katz"
Posted: 6479 days ago

So Martin's got Chicago and possibly Madison, which are both cool places (Madison, especially), and I might be able to make it to one if it's on a weekend. But you know where is better? Milwaukee!

I know that last time you were in the area at my local Harry Schwartz book shop, and I happened to be out of town. But my invitation to take you to a great brew pub in Milwaukee is still open! AND - I'll guarantee that I'll buy at least three of your books if you make it here. That's gotta be at least $3 in royalties for you, right? ;) 3 bucks and a beer on me - how can you beat that? If Martin comes along, I'll buy him a beer, too!

HAL 9000 (#271)

Location: Boston
Quote: "Let them hate me, so long as they fear me."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Good! You missed Boston last time--you've got to hit New England =).

Wm. Gary Webb (#734)

Location: Utah, U.S.A.
Quote: ""Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it." -Abraham Lincoln"
Posted: 6479 days ago

How about Salt Lake City, Utah?

Emily (#370)

Location: Mexico
Quote: "You can't spell Greek without the EEK"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Ooh! Ann Arbor! I will definitely be there... all those college kids will LOVE to see you!!!!

Wolfgang (#1368)

Location: Berlin, Germany
Posted: 6479 days ago

I guess Berlin, Germany, is out of the question for your U.S. book tour? ;)

What a shame...

Doujin (#1250)

Location: East Peoria, IL
Quote: "Omnium Finis Imminet"
Posted: 6479 days ago

It would be nice if you could stop by in Peoria for a couple of hours (it's about two hours south of Chicago). I've only read Company (I'm broke, can't afford to buy the others), but from that one book I fell in love.

Austin (#814)

Quote: "You might be stretching."
Posted: 6479 days ago


So I think that's a really good idea.

Doujin (#1250)

Location: East Peoria, IL
Quote: "Omnium Finis Imminet"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Oh, one last thing, I always look forwad to reading your blog posts. They're hillarious :)

isserley (#1320)

Location: Madrid, Spain
Quote: "I am an elegance bigot. If I’m going to sit in front of this thing for hours a day, I want to feel the intelligence that went into my OS. I want to sense that an English major lost sleep over the wording of the menus. - David Pogue, 06/1998"
Posted: 6479 days ago

and what about Madrid, Spain?

I guess you should really consider a european tour rather sooner than later. You, being member of the commonwealth (more or less ;) should have no problem getting the british council ,, to host you in hundreds of cities across europe. Besides being able to see nicer parts of Europe than Bedford, you can even dress-up your "sales-promo book tour" as "educational". How cool is that?


Kori (#2258)

Location: Rochester, MN
Quote: "And then Jesus said, 'Let them eat cake.'"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I agree with Christopher Warren up there; It would be wonderful if you made it to Minneapolis/St. Paul.

Duncan (#1311)

Location: The Free Web
Quote: "One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Max, please go to Madison! You went to LA last time, yes? Give poor Wisconsin a chance! :P

Phil Schroeder (#1439)

Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Quote: "Cerebral Exploitation"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Chicago or Ann Arbor works fine for me being the fine midwestener I am. Post the dates when known, thanks!

Cupie (#1396)

Location: Seattle-ish
Quote: ""You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." -Dorothy Parker"
Posted: 6479 days ago

No mention of the Seattle/Portland market???? This is cruel indeed. Ann Arbor only offers the home office of Borders Books...blet...send in Jennifer Gov. :P

SilverCloud (#2038)

Quote: "Fortune Favors the Brave"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Los Angeles is the closest to me,
a mere 275 miles RT
or 2-6 hours one way travel time, we have traffic...
How can anyone compare LA to Madison?
Your last trip to Hollywood (same as LA)was successful..

Djoules (#1553)

Location: Paris, France
Quote: "yes... maybe."
Posted: 6479 days ago

If the idea comes to you to come to Paris (France), i'd be really glad to be your guide after the signing books stuff.

(i'm telling that because i plan to go to Australia in a few months, if, once there, i may invite you to a have a beer i'd be really honored :)

Elisha (#1577)

Location: Ontario
Quote: "I am on the next page, the next book."
Posted: 6479 days ago

I second Perth.

That is Perth Ontario Canada.
Please and Thank you.

I deserve it.
I've read Jennifer Government, Company, and I'm a few pages away from finishing Syrup.
I sort of idolize you.

Jaime (#180)

Location: Philadelphia
Quote: "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I think another, more southern East Coast visit would be prudent. Philadelphia would cover New York and D.C. fans, but in the end I would settle for D.C. As important as New York is, you did visit there earlier this year on your last tour. I'm excited, Max. Real excited.

Emily (#609)

Location: New York
Quote: "When in doubt, fuck it. When not in doubt, get in doubt!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Please please please come back to New York! I'll actually BE there this time!

JesseLawrence (#1114)

Location: Minneapolis
Quote: "Madness is to think too many things in succession too fast; or of one thing exclusively."
Posted: 6479 days ago

I too would like to see you come to Minneapolis

Hobbie (#1359)

Location: Cornwall, England
Quote: "There was a little man in his hair!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Need a European tour instead... Yanks get all the attention... *mumble grumble*

Shawna (#2485)

Location: San Francisco, CA
Quote: ""She is a child of ferocious will. She would question the universe if it could answer." - Anon"
Posted: 6479 days ago

You have to come to San Francisco! I'll come and I'll bring my friends. Do you know which bookstores or is it just cities that form the list now?

Keith Dotson (#1697)

Location: Detroit, Mi
Quote: ""I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable." --Demetri Martin"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I will do hear me....ANYTHING...for you to come to Ann Arbor.

Lisa (#845)

Location: Honolulu, HI
Posted: 6479 days ago

Show your publisher and bookstores your real statistics and generate your own demand.

Will Wheaton was able to convice a bookstore or something in Boston to have a reading.

Look at all those people who say they will do anything to get you to come to their city!

Patrick Bonfrisco (#1901)

Location: Anaheim, CA
Quote: "Do it tomorrow. The early worm is for the bird."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Orange County, CA. PLEASE!! OC* is so much better than LA. Less smog, less dirt, and less traffic. Stop by and sign my copy of Action Comics 838.

* - By the way, in OC, we call it "OC," NOT "The OC." No one calls it that. That would be like saying I'm from The LA or The NY.

Scar (#2642)

Location: Tejas
Quote: "I'm not perfect. I'm just better than you."
Posted: 6479 days ago

First of all, Company was a textual masterpiece.

However, I am very disappointed in your Texas locations. Austin is a decent enough choice but Dallas sucks. I think Houston would be a much better choice and would even attract a lot of the money in The Woodlands.

Also, I went to Barnes to pick up Jennifer Government and it was $30 for a paperback. What the hell is that all about? Can't I just cut off a finger?

Volks (#1895)

Location: Arizona
Quote: ""If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle." -Rita Mae Brown"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I agree with changing the location away from Dallas...but why have two in the same state? How about instead of Dallas, come to Arizona? Tucson would be best, but Phoenix would also be good. It's the 5th largest city in the country, after all, and it's close enough to Tucson and Flagstaff that you'd be in range of all three of the major universities in Arizona...actually you'd be close enough to the entire poulation of the state plus much of New Mexico and bits of Utah and California. Please!

Joseph (#1825)

Location: Jeffersonville, Indiana, USA
Quote: "With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Chicago... Hrmmm... Sounds good. It's just a 6-8 hour drive I think. Plus good pizza.

Machine Man subscriber Dave (#29)

Location: Seattle
Posted: 6479 days ago

Um... Max. You've come to Seattle every tour, with full audiences. Why abandon us now?

Traveller (#1939)

Location: Amphetamemeia
Quote: ""Surely you didn't mean select THAT button. That button is for serious people.""
Posted: 6479 days ago

What, no Washington, DC on the list? Come to Northern VA! Tysons Corner Borders would be the perfect place to cause a ton of Max Barry Signature Chaos(tm).

Gwen (#2644)

Location: Los Angeles
Quote: "Goodbye, mailbox"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Los Angeles, please! We're much warmer than Madison.

Erin (#1481)

Location: Seattle
Quote: "Living is easy with eyes closed"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Two words : Mall of America.

Herzliyya (#761)

Location: New Hampshire, USA
Quote: "The act is sweet, but it casts a shadow just the same."
Posted: 6479 days ago

I'd love to go see you in Boston.

Katy (#2345)

Location: Los Angeles
Posted: 6479 days ago

Make it Los Angeles, not Madison. Nobody lives in Madison. I live in Los Angeles, please please please make it Los Angeles.


Niccalo (#2313)

Location: Duluth, GA
Quote: ""STOP! Don't Shoot!""
Posted: 6479 days ago

Do we have any dates yet?

Machine Man subscriber Julie Totsch (#1341)

Location: Racine, WI
Quote: ""The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Okay, if you make it to either Chicago or Madison -- I will be there! But, I'd really love it if you would come to Milwaukee.

And, what's the deal with nothing for Seattle, because you should appear again at Elliott Bay Bookstore in case you don't make it to Chicago or Madison. They took good care of my book order!

James W. G. Ford (#1437)

Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Quote: "Never allow yourself to be limited by tradition. If we all did that, we'd still live in caves."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Please come to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. It's a city of 250,000 people and I'm willing to bet they're all big Max Barry fans. I know of at least 6 people who would come to your book signing, and I hardly know anyone. Anyway, our big, kick-ass bookstore is McNally Robinson. Please come, or justify why you're not coming.


Jae Ford

Justin (#2009)

Location: Halfmoon, NY
Quote: "Max(x) is awesome!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Albany, NY! They have a <a href=>Visiting Writers Series</a> where I got to see Chuck P. at UAlbany. Plus, Albany is roughly equidistance from NYC, Boston, and Montreal, so you could sorta hit 3 huge markets at once!

PS I hope these comments allow html...

Machine Man subscriber Ivan (#2404)

Location: Arizona
Quote: "Huh?"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Come to Phoenix and I'll buy you a beer!
We are a very populated city and the fastest growing in the entire US! Capitalize on the new market.

Machine Man subscriber Roger (#1653)

Posted: 6479 days ago

Two words: Waldorf Maryland

Justin (#2009)

Location: Halfmoon, NY
Quote: "Max(x) is awesome!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Blast! They don't.... well, you know how it works, I suppose...

Come to Albany!

Ethan Miller (#2048)

Location: Maryland
Quote: ""If you will, it is no fairytale""
Posted: 6479 days ago

I belive I am the fifth person to say: Washington, DC

meet some high profile senetors!
See some dying fans!
Sell books!
Visit the nation's Capital!

Richard (#2051)

Location: Boulder, CO
Quote: "...I may not like you, but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Okay, good to see things on the southern plains, but do you really need to go to two cities in Texas? want to drop Austin and come to Norman, Oklahoma. It's a college town too, only for a better college! And that way I don't have to drive three hours to see you!

Mickey Finn (#2595)

Location: Houston, TX, USA
Posted: 6479 days ago

Austin, Good. Dallas, Good. Houston, Better ;) You did Austin last time, make them drive to Houston for a change. ;)

Jak (#2464)

Quote: "The Straight-Jacket makes it hard to type."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Alright I have the perfect place: Las Vegas, NV
First off, who doesn't want to come to Vegas, it could be a mini vacation on your tour.
Second, its between LA and NY.
Third, we are a big city, the metropolotin area is now over 2 million.

So, yah come to vegas.

Heidi (#2401)

Location: California
Posted: 6479 days ago

Definitely keep San Francisco on the list!

Machine Man subscriber FerretWithASpork (#2218)

Location: NY, USA
Quote: "What the F**ks a terminal?"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Before or after hitting up Boston you MUST come up to Albany! Just because.... is that a good enough reason? No... Well.... Uhh.... A comes before B and Albany would even out the fact that Bostons first and you need an A to come first!

Is that a good reason? How about because I said so? Well any way you GOTTA Come to Albany!

Jenni Moody (#1400)

Location: Dearborn, Michigan
Posted: 6479 days ago

AH! Ann Arbor! You must keep Ann Arbor on your list, because all of us crazy Michiganders would love to have you sign here :) I don't know where you'd be, but if it's at the big Borders, it's a very very nice store.

Thom McGuire (#2571)

Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posted: 6479 days ago

Chicago works fine for me and the entire western half of MI

Maureen Ryan (#2265)

Location: East Cleveland, OH
Quote: "Truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Okay, not a single Ohio city? I mean, I'm in Cleveland, so I can "accept" Ann Arbor, but what about my brethern Buckeyes? You do realize that Michigan has the Michigan Militia, a roving band of crazy rednecks with automatic assault weapons?

I'm sure that the reason they suggested Ann Arbor is because it is the home of Borders books corporate office. But, they have a very bad reputation in that they are union busters. Of course, they may be the inspiration for another of your books.

If you come to Ohio, can you come to a JoBeth Booksellers? They're an independent bookstore chain with huge, pretty stores and nice people. We have one in the Cleveland area!

Might I just mention again how many Ohio fans are just on his site alone?


Dom Pody (#2475)

Location: Philadelphia, PA, USA
Quote: "I may not agree with a word you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I second the Philadelphia trip. You need more East Coast Max!

Rue (#2001)

Location: NY, NY
Quote: ""But in eighteen dimensions, it's all perfectly clear.""
Posted: 6479 days ago

Aaaww, Maxx, you won't come to New York again? Oh well, I guess we must all share. But the NEXT tour, you hear? (:

(Martin, too: btw, you sound like a very cool agent and there should be more like you. ^^)

Tony Quin (#1310)

Location: Plymouth -urgh
Quote: "Yoga is NAILS"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Ah, yes. That list looks all wrong - none of the names have "Surrey" written after them. There must be some mistake.

Maureen Ryan (#2265)

Location: East Cleveland, OH
Quote: "Truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Some of the big superstore bookstore chains have started to mark up paperbacks HUGE. I have no idea why, but I got burned on Indecision at Borders. After I peeled their sticker off of the book, I'd realized that I had been charged $7 over cover price. I got my $7 back after a very long time occupying 2 booksellers time. They told me that they were happier for me to return the book than for them to give me the $7.

Garbage like this is why I stopped working for them after nearly a decade and a half.


Jay (#1892)

Location: New York
Posted: 6479 days ago


How could you not visit New York? It's the capital of the world as far as I'm concerned and beyond that it's just a fun and cool city. You should defnitely stop by since you're going to be in Boston which is fairly close.


PS: It could even be a day trip from Boston to NY.

Kevin (#2321)

Location: Seattle
Quote: "Are you ok, at home? .....t.v. wise I mean."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Company was set in Seattle.....I'll let you do the math.

Machine Man subscriber Narflz (#2594)

Location: St. Louis
Quote: "WARNING: Extended Use Of Narflz May Cause Explosive Diarhea"
Posted: 6479 days ago

JB, you are a god, i'd love to have max come to STL, but i don't see that happening

definately hit LA instead of Madison, and personally, i'd throw out Ann Arbor (Chicago is close enough) and go to New York, toss Austin and hit somewhere in Florida or hit atlanta, and get rid of San Francisco (since you oughta go to LA) and go somewhere in the NW, Seattle being the optimum candidate. At least with all that, you are spread pretty well over the US, not everyone will be happy tho

tho, if i had my way, i'd say throw the whole lot out and come over to St. Louis, hey, NYC is pretty close to Boston, so screw Boston and come here (i live in STL, you actually thought I wouldn't campaign for it? come on!)

javier (#1344)

Location: Long Beach, CA, USA
Posted: 6479 days ago

i particularly like how anyone thinks orange county--anywhere in orange county--is better than los angeles. orange county is like a drunken frat boy. los angeles is that leggy brunette across the bar. so, yes, los angeles would be nice.

*it's a joke, btw

Jeff T. (#2591)

Location: USA
Quote: ""WHO ARE YOU?!""
Posted: 6479 days ago

Denver, Colorado. or anywhere, colorado. It's already on the list, so why not? also, it's right smack in the middle of the USA! woo!

John Reynolds (#2534)

Location: New York, USA
Posted: 6479 days ago

New York or Buffalo, because right now I'm at school which is near Buffalo, but I could go home and just be near New York which I assume is a more likely possibility.

Jeffrey (#2286)

Location: Right here
Quote: "Mathematics is a powerful language. Just look at how mathematicians destroyed the housing market."
Posted: 6479 days ago

I'll buy you a beer in Boston!

Laura (#1040)

Posted: 6479 days ago

I would like to add St. Louis, MO to the list. Since it seems they're trying to stick you in major metropolitan areas. Yes, I know Texas is big, but you don't need Dallas and Austin. I used to live there, so I'd go with Dallas. But I definitely like St. Louis because it's smack dab in the middle of everything. More centralized for the people who want to travel just to see you!

Yoyodyn (#2480)

Location: TN, USA
Quote: "Yay though I walk through the valley of Gates, I shall fear no Windows."
Posted: 6479 days ago

How about Nashville? You know Nicole and Keith have a house here. I am sure they would open thier doors to a fellow countryman.

Nora Jean Stone (#1170)

Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Quote: "Do Wa Ditty, Life in the CITY, where the Women are Strong and the Men are Pretty... anon"
Posted: 6479 days ago

\(*o*)/ YEAH San Francisco. I am going to tear my husband off of his computer, playing EQII, to come see you. He's the one who first read your books and came hollering to me "YOU GOT TO READ THIS GUY!". Now I can holler at him "YOU GOT TO MEET THIS GUY!" I'm so happy I can just dance.

Kalle (#1278)

Quote: "Sex is herital. If your parents never had it, chanses are you'll never have it either."
Posted: 6479 days ago

I vote Ystad, Scania, Sweden. Hear that Martin? :D

Machine Man subscriber Chyna Trople (#2393)

Location: Portland, OR
Quote: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his job depends on not understanding it. --Upton Sinclair"
Posted: 6479 days ago

I vote for Portland, OR. They have giant doughnuts and the biggest bookstore west of the Mississipi river (Powells)!!

Steve (#2499)

Location: Michigan
Quote: "Max Barry's writing rocks. And he didn't even pay me to write that."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Ann Arbor. A little over an hour away, but an awesome venue. I'll be there.

Sandi (#2169)

Location: Denver
Quote: "there's a thin line between fiction and non-fiction and i believe i snorted it in 1976"
Posted: 6479 days ago


okay. sorry about that. i usually don't go capslock for silly reasons... but i am thrilled that you might tentitively be coming to my town. any idea when?

Cat (#1824)

Location: Tacoma
Posted: 6479 days ago


I just moved here from Arizona and I've been lusting after seeing one of your book tours. I was SO excited to come here because I'D GET TO SEE YOU OMFG.


You are god.

Steve (#2499)

Location: Michigan
Quote: "Max Barry's writing rocks. And he didn't even pay me to write that."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Question: is "Mall of America" really two words? And Doujin, get your local library to buy his other books so you can read them!

Jay, New York WILL be capital of Earth in the next 50 years or so. But that's in MY book. (Right. Not published yet.)

Max ... even though I'll be in Ann Arbor, I agree about Seattle. Anytime from September through May, they rely on anything, in addition to coffee, to get them through the drizzle.

Kommander Kyle (#2470)

Location: Covington, Louisiana, US
Quote: ""Revenge is a dish best served cold...""
Posted: 6479 days ago

you know, you should come to New Orleans. if you want me to get all fancy on why you should come, i'd say to help with the relief effort and that stuff. but really its just because it would be great to meet you (and maybe to have my copy of Jennifer Government signed). anyways, yeah; you should come down here.

Andrew (#1279)

Location: Texas
Posted: 6479 days ago

Don't go to Austin. Go to San Antonio! It has a larger population than austin and is closer to mexico and other places. It can bring in a new audience.

Josh (#1878)

Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: 6479 days ago

Andrew's post sums up what I would have said had he not said it. However, to change his wording a bit... I wouldn't mind if you went to Austin. I live in San Antonio, but make many trips to Dallas and Houston just to see people perform comedy or read their work. So, as long as you're in Texas, I'll be there.

Machine Man subscriber Ian Chafee (#2437)

Location: Chicago, IL
Posted: 6479 days ago

About time you're coming to Chicago! You can come over for beer and pizza. You haven't had pizza until you've had pizza in this city. Hot dogs too.

Keely (#1602)

Location: of course!
Quote: "I always wanted to see the lights of Broadway... but then you get there and they're really kind of annoying."
Posted: 6479 days ago

I absolutely KNOW that you meant to put NYC on that list but just forgot. Seriously, you know what would be really, really hardcore? Come to BROOKLYN. Because we exist and kick major booty. But a lot of the Manhattan people kind of forget we're there.

Ryan (#2535)

Location: The government won't let me tell you, there are terrorists
Quote: "Do I really have to ware the dress?"
Posted: 6479 days ago

What about Louisville Max? Where's the love!?!?!?!?!

Tyler Cooper (#1889)

Location: Olympia, WA
Quote: "Welcome intrigue. Welcome sophistication. Welcome Blak."
Posted: 6479 days ago

Aww, I thought you enjoyed your visit to Seattle last tour. :(

John Blackwood Reid (#2645)

Location: Brisbane
Posted: 6479 days ago

Brisbane! Home country love as per previous comments.

the Patrick (#1262)

Location: St. Paul, MN
Quote: "There's a guy to the 9! Well, maybe it's a guy; maybe its a cow..."
Posted: 6479 days ago

If you come to Minneapolis, I personally swear* to buy 156,789,452 copies of each of you books.
*No promise made. For entertainment purposes only. Void where prohibited.

David (#1848)

Location: Texas
Quote: "Delighted!"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Galveston, Texas. Can't think of a good reason, though, except that I live here. Glad to see Texas is hogging the tour, I must say.

Thanks for stopping by, Max! Looking forward to getting a chance to see you! Color me psyched.

Jason Wallwork (#675)

Location: Peterborough, Canada
Quote: "If it ain't broke you're not trying hard enough."
Posted: 6479 days ago

America, America. Who cares? When are you coming to CANADA? Unlike America, most of us here can actually read - we don't just look at the covers. If do ever do a Canadian tour, consider Toronto or Ottawa. Either are close enough for me to get to and I'll bring you coffee. Really I will.

Jason Wallwork (#675)

Location: Peterborough, Canada
Quote: "If it ain't broke you're not trying hard enough."
Posted: 6479 days ago

What was I thinking? I'll bring you take out or buy you dinner - whatever you want, anything, as long as it's within $20.

Machine Man subscriber lauren (#2635)

Location: texas
Quote: "..."
Posted: 6479 days ago

yay for dallas!

Caroline (#1667)

Quote: "Does the Walker Choose the Path, or the Path the Walker?"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Why not Raleigh, North Carolina? It's big enough for an author to come, right? It's weird, stuff like this can be a hit and miss with Raleigh, NC. We can either get some really good stuff like John Edwards declairing that he would not be running for president or not. That may be a bad example, but the point is that it can be a big hit and miss here.

So I'd like to think that Raleigh, NC, is important enough for you to come and visit. I'd come, because I know you're a great guy. And I'm sure that a ton of others would want to come. Even if they have to come drive up from South Caroline or even from Virginia or somethin'. I dunno.

Eric (#1761)

Location: "The seat of Capitalist Power
Posted: 6479 days ago

Come to Syracuse, NY. not alot of famous people come here. But, Al Gore is comming to talk about "Global warming" this September. don't make me go to that, please. Come to Syracuse!, our Book stores could use someone like you to spice up book sales.

Shlaga (#2533)

Location: Minnesota
Posted: 6479 days ago

You should come to Minneapolis/St. Paul, you be my personal hero.

broad (#1759)

Location: astoria, ny
Posted: 6479 days ago

yeah there's this tiny place, and i know it's small, but it's pretty cool. it's called NEW YORK? you might have heard of it....

Yubi Shines (#1664)

Location: Canada
Posted: 6479 days ago


Specifically, Ontario, Toronto.


Qaaolchoura (#226)

Location: Korea
Quote: "Treason never prospers, and what is the reason? If it does prosper then none dare to call it 'treason'"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Dammit, suppose with only major cities this time there's no hope of getting you to come to Harford or Springfield, let alone to South Hadley (been meaning to bug the Odyssey, which is fairly good at getting famous and popular authors)

Ahh well, I may be able to convince my mother to take us out to Boston, if it's on the weekend and she has no other plans.

Or else maybe your next American tour will be erratic again.

Matthew Rushing (#757)

Location: Kihei, Maui, HI
Quote: "What Would Jesus Do, For A Klondike Bar?"
Posted: 6479 days ago

There is one place I am sure you haven't thought of but it is actually closer to you, Hawaii.I moved here from Mountain View,Ca, I missed meeting you by just a few months.
You should take some kind of vacation or something while here, have you ever been to the Islands?
I am sure your fan would agree that it would be a very good place to hold the final stop.
Mahalo (Thank You)

Raul Gonzalez (#2625)

Location: Colombia
Quote: "I need an ebook crack house..."
Posted: 6479 days ago

What about visiting Colombia?

Had to give it a shot, no way anyone is coming down here...

Qaaolchoura (#226)

Location: Korea
Quote: "Treason never prospers, and what is the reason? If it does prosper then none dare to call it 'treason'"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Eh, I would, if your government could get the paramilitaries under control.

One of the things I'd like to see (aside from some colonial cities fo course) are those ruins of the civilization in the Sierra Madres, definitely well off the "safe" list.

Hopefully by the time I'm traveling much on my own they will have though.

Lori (#2288)

Location: Seattle
Quote: ""Never play ping-pong with mental patients that's all they do and they will kill you." Amy Hempel"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Portland or Seattle.
Lot's of book stores up here.
Plus I missed you the last time, but was lucky to
get an autographed copy at Elliott Bay Books.

kap (#1374)

Location: DC
Posted: 6479 days ago

Argh. Washington DC, please. Please please. :(

Adam A. (#256)

Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Quote: "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin"
Posted: 6479 days ago

Phoenix (Tempe actually) has a really cool and huge independent bookstore, Changing Hands. They have all the cool authors there like Chuck Palahniuk, Sherman Alexie, David Sedaris, etc. And as mentioned earlier, Phoenx is the 5th largest city. C'mon, Martin, 5th largest city. In the whole United States.

Rod McBride (#688)

Location: Gardner, KS
Quote: ""
Posted: 6479 days ago

Have them get your as to Kansas City. Chuck Palahniuk wasn't even done signing autographs until past 2:00 a.m. David Sedaris tickets were $25 (which did NOT include a book) and he was here at least as late.

Get your ass to the heartland. And Chicago does NOT count: that's in Canada.

Skyler Bartels (#1724)

Location: Des Moines, IA
Quote: ""You killed Zombie Flanders!" "He was a zombie?""
Posted: 6479 days ago

Some kind of stop in either Omaha Nebraska or Des Moines IA. Even if you just come to Drake University to hang out with me, I can house you AND feed you!


Man, I'd love to see you sometimes

David Chilton (#1633)

Location: Chattanooga, TN
Posted: 6479 days ago

I vote for Seattle. Why? Because I just moved here and missed your stop the last tour. And Elliot Bay Books is just a great shop.

I also agree that you should hit the SouthEast somewhere. Atlanta or Nashville (Davis-Kidd bookstore in Nashville is good for visiting authors)

Brad Lee (#1964)

Location: Lubbock, Texas, U.S.A.
Quote: "Everyone dies at some point, why not go on your own terms, at your own discretion. Naked covered in syrup. Yeah."
Posted: 6478 days ago

dallas and austin are about 5 to 6 hours from me, but I'll drive to either of them to get to see you, fucking rockstar. Plus, it's Texas, everyone in the world has to come to Texas at least once.

James Heath (#1846)

Location: Nottingham, England
Quote: ""I've done it before and I'll do it again - I'll F***ing Kill Google!" - Steve Ballmer"
Posted: 6478 days ago

I thinking you need to make a slight detour in your U.S tour. Perhaps a very small detour to... England? Nottingham would be best. :D

Duncan (#1311)

Location: The Free Web
Quote: "One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship."
Posted: 6478 days ago

Quiet LA infidels! You've had your chance to see him on at least one of his tours. Madison ueber alles!

JJ MacMillan (#819)

Location: Austin, TX
Quote: "I just wanted you to see what bad planning looked like."
Posted: 6478 days ago

Austin (the city, not the poster above) will love you and you will love it right back. Just remember that what you call "beer" in Australia, we call "Tequila" in Texas.

First one's on me.

[email protected]

Alison (#2648)

Posted: 6478 days ago

I'm pretty pleased with Boston.

C. W. (#1092)

Location: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Quote: "Cynic: An idealist that gets let down every fucking time."
Posted: 6478 days ago

Max and Martin,

Maureen makes a good point but she suggests the wrong Ohio city. Come to the Joseph Beth in Cincinnati, OH. Chicago's all well and good but Cincinnati has big city attractions but has a small town feel to it. You'd meet plenty of down-to-earth people and right across the river is an Hofbrauhaus, so there's a near infinite supply of the best beer on the planet. Plus you could introduce Fin to my 1-year-old nephew Andrew (if she comes).

Cincinnati, Martin! Cincinnati!

Angela (#685)

Location: The capital of the free world (HA!)
Quote: "I got nothin'."
Posted: 6478 days ago

Definitely the DC metro region. But if you go to Tyson's Corner, people without a car (like me!) wouldn't be able to get to you too easily. Kramerbooks and Politics and Prose are two trendy independent stores in the area, both metro accessible.

Nick (#2620)

Location: Amersfoort
Quote: "Am I dreaming this?"
Posted: 6478 days ago

I truly agree with Danni Matzk. When are you coming to Europe? More particularly, Amsterdam? This IS of course a city known for its wide variety of temptations. Free sex, loads of drugs, more tulips than you can eat and whatnot.

Is that enough for you to come overhere? Of do I have to bride someone? Let me know who and what amount it takes.

See you soon!


Mandithecoolkid (#872)

Location: Apple Valley
Quote: ""Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable, we have to alter it every 6 months" Oscar Wilde"
Posted: 6478 days ago

i think if you DONT come to la, we're going to hunt you AND your publicist down with torches. :)

Machine Man subscriber Lisa (#2587)

Location: Enfield, Connecticut USA
Quote: "outside of dog a book is man's best friend...inside of a dog it's too dark to read--Groucho Marx"
Posted: 6478 days ago

Boston, Boston, Boston!
And for all of you who can't afford the books...GET THEE TO YOUR LIBRARY!
All the cool librarians buy Max Barry!

Caroline (#1667)

Quote: "Does the Walker Choose the Path, or the Path the Walker?"
Posted: 6478 days ago

Again, and I will repeat it, RALEIGH RALEIGH RALEIGH!

North Carolina needs you. We get neglected from time to time. Please come.

Robert (#2152)

Location: Berlin, Germany
Posted: 6478 days ago

since we have the "best"covers:
european tour ,germany, berlin!!!

Nick Dasko (#215)

Location: San Diego
Quote: "When does CPR become necorphilia"
Posted: 6478 days ago

Why not San Diego. Big population, west coast, and its not L.A.

Josh (#13)

Location: New Orleans
Quote: "The problem with most people is that when they're not drunk, they're sober. - Yeats"
Posted: 6478 days ago

Hey, how about coming to New Orleans? We storm ravaged folk could use a bald Australian to lift our spirits... y'know before another hurricane hits and wipes us off the map thanks to a crappy levee system

Machine Man subscriber James C King (#156)

Location: Perth, Austrslia
Quote: "Let us rain some DOOM down upon the FILTHY heads of our DOOMED enemies! - Zim"
Posted: 6478 days ago

I have to agree with Richard Giles,


You know, That small place no one has ever heard of, and I don't mean in Tasmania or in Scotland....


Um, Can I say it one more time...


Yep, Guess I can.


C Lynch (#2047)

Location: San Diego, California, USA
Posted: 6477 days ago

SAN DIEGO! Please, there's NOTHING else here... If you don't I guess I could trekk up to Frisco.. but.. but... SAN DIEGO! Please?

Machine Man subscriber H.G.Wells (#2282)

Location: Portland, Oregon
Quote: "If you are flamable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. - Mitch Hedberg"
Posted: 6477 days ago

A couple of people have said Portland or Seattle things. Preferably it'd be Portland because 1)We like our books (Powells!) 2)Doughnuts (Voodoo!) and 3)Coffee (it's everywhere, really!) of course, I'd settle for Seattle, it is the next closest, but c'mon, us Portlanders are fun!


Narain (#824)

Location: Los Angeles, right between civilization and a desert
Quote: "NI!"
Posted: 6477 days ago

Los Angeles, you know we love you long time. Plus, you can try schmoozing with all those celebrities you want to cast!

Jonah (#1462)

Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "That little story your writing... with the developing plot... and the antagonist..."
Posted: 6477 days ago

Yeah, Chicago will be great. If that stays on the list, I'll make it a point to go up there to visit. Mind you, as a college student, I have no money. Max, you're paying for my plane/bus ticket. As a famous author, it's like pocket change to you.

Machine Man subscriber Lisa (#2455)

Location: Iowa
Quote: "Never judge a book by its movie."
Posted: 6477 days ago

I second the vote to come to the REAL heartland! Forget Chicago or Minneapolis, why not Omaha or even better Des Moines, IA!

austin (#2462)

Location: rhode island
Quote: "hmmm...bleh..."
Posted: 6477 days ago

I WILL BE AT THE BOSTON TOUR!!!! I'll have to do a little begging, but I'll get there. Now, I just need to find the dates...

jjhatch (#2651)

Location: Round Rock, TX
Quote: "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!"
Posted: 6477 days ago

Nooo! Keep Austin on the list. It's in the central part of Texas, so it's good. Dallas is alright, but you can drop it if you want. You won't get bored in Austin, that's for sure, since we're the Live Music Capital of the World. Plus we have Book People, which is a really cool bookstore. :)

Fj0rd (#2412)

Location: In front of my computer. Where else?
Quote: "Guns don't kill characters. Authors do."
Posted: 6477 days ago

Minneapolis, because we have what my writing teachers keep telling me is one of the best literary scenes in the world.

Elle (#2618)

Location: New York
Posted: 6477 days ago

What seriously, no New York??? But we had such fun last time. There were donuts! And I got to be the only other Australian in the room. And there were DONUTS!

Wade Geary (#1804)

Location: Cedar Falls, IA
Quote: "The future is here. It's just unevenly distributed."
Posted: 6476 days ago

It looks like the Midwest is pretty well represented (in both your tentative list and in previous comments), but I'll throw out Iowa City as a possibility anyways. Prairie Lights Bookstore...

Machine Man subscriber Narflz (#2594)

Location: St. Louis
Quote: "WARNING: Extended Use Of Narflz May Cause Explosive Diarhea"
Posted: 6476 days ago

man, i'm getting pissed off at everyone who is begging for San Diego, i understand everyone wants him in their city, BUT COME ON! he's already got San Fran, and probably LA on the list, stop hogging, each state should have a max (haha, pun) of one stop on it

man, i do hope you hit missouri (either KC or STL) b/c that's a long way up to Chicago, that i would rather not make if not absolutely necessary

as for the few people talking about Raleigh, they have a point, that entire region is neglected, tho like i've said, ATL or somewhere in Florida would be ideal b/c of the size of the cities (and ATL has the whole Coka-Cola connection, haha)

but yeah, cut out either dallas or austin, and i'd say hit LA instead of San Fran, and missing NYC would be idiocy

so with the list as it is, you basically have the Great Lakes, the NE, Cali., Texas, and Denver, which kicks ass for anyone in those specific areas, but leaves out about75% of the population, and if it was spread out better, you could at least make it accessable to a good 70% of the population instead of a measly 25% (and no, those numbers are probably very inaccurate, but they get the gist of the point across)

oh, and to everyone in Europe, the reason he isn't visiting you all on this tour is b/c it is a U.S. TOUR! feel free to complain he isn't doing a european tour, that's totally within your rights, and in my opinion, it's only fair that he should, but don't be mad he isn't going to England on an American tour, to the canadians tho, you are right, it would be nice to at least give you all one stop somewhere at least

Linnea1928 (#2654)

Location: Rosemount, MN
Posted: 6476 days ago

I think that you should come to the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. I guess Chicago would work, but dude Minneapolis is way cooler than Chicago!

Andrew (#59)

Location: Ohio
Posted: 6476 days ago

Ann Arbor..ugh. Don't drink the water.

Ae Sengmavong (#2655)

Location: Chicago
Posted: 6476 days ago

Downtown Chicago would be just great.

james bullock (#2656)

Location: jacksonville, fl
Quote: "kiss me goodbye"
Posted: 6476 days ago

come to jacksonville where the murder rates are high, hell just come to somewhere in florida.

Scott (#2517)

Location: New York
Quote: "Get over yourself!"
Posted: 6475 days ago

How is New York not on the list??? Come on, you've got to come here!!!

Anita Heiney (#292)

Location: Richmond, VA USA
Quote: "I came. I signed up. I got an error."
Posted: 6474 days ago

Helloow - Richmond - as in Virginia? Capital of the Confederacy ... Land of the Free, Home of the Brave ... Murder City (#1 in the nation in murder rate) ... on second thought, maybe a 2-hr trip to Northern Virginia or Washington DC wouldn't be so bad either. (We all need to get away sometime.)

Besides, with me, Xpovos, Konrad Riecke, Saban and Shabooty, that's like a guaranteed sell-out. Right? And, I've got all THREE of your books - so there! :-P

Anita Heiney (#292)

Location: Richmond, VA USA
Quote: "I came. I signed up. I got an error."
Posted: 6474 days ago

Hey Max - want to see a volleyball logo tatoo? nudge nudge - wink wink?

DC, baby - DC ...

Cory Cochran (#2196)

Location: MilwaukeeAusrin
Quote: "Don't Look Too Hard, Don't Think Too Often"
Posted: 6474 days ago


Madison or Los Angeles? Why not both?, or even better Milwaukee. You came here for Jennifer Government tour and we welcome you back with arms wide open.

Michael (#1299)

Location: Northern California
Quote: "Chugachugachoochoo"
Posted: 6474 days ago

How 'bout Podunk? It's a great little town. heh.

I relly didn't have anything valuable to add, just wanted to be comment # 165. YAY! I did it!

Celeste (#2590)

Location: St.L. MO, USA
Quote: "You can't child-proof the world, so world-proof the child."
Posted: 6474 days ago

I'm fascinated that all promoters seem to think that if they've got Chicago, they've covered the Midwest. From St. Louis, it's too long for a day trip, to expensive to spend the night....sigh. This happens with most celebrities. Most of the really good concerts, Art Exhibits, etc., go to Chicago, and then on to a coastline. This in spite of the fact that every one who's been here says St. Louis has the best fans, just ask Sammy Haggar, Kansas(the band, not the state), the Cardinals, the sumo wrestlers- Sanahama and Koryu, etc. The Paul McCartney concert here was better than the one they showed on t.v. I'd even settle for catching the train to Kansas City to see you, I have friends there with whom I could stay.

Christopher Liakos (#1814)

Location: Tampa, Florida USA
Quote: "If you do not be quiet this instant, a garden gnome shall be forcibly inserted in your posterior."
Posted: 6474 days ago

Well, I'm officially sick of Tampa, Florida never being a stop in any book tour. We happen to be one of the larger metropolitan areas here in the States and are constantly getting larger. Plus, our cost of living is ridiculously high yet our gas prices are manageable. What that translates to is rich people with money to spend. Finally, we have a very nice 5 diamond rated hotel that you could trick the publisher into getting you a room at. I'll stop now, but I think I've made my point.

Wes (#1857)

Posted: 6474 days ago

How about Pittsburgh? That way I can send my sister like I did when Chuck Palahniuk toured. Or you could make it easy on both of us and come to Wilmington, NC. I came here once to visit. I still haven't made it home.

Brad (#2012)

Location: Chicago
Posted: 6473 days ago

You should definitely come to Chicago. More specifically, you should go to Quimby's, the cool little indie store, as opposed to Border's downtown.

Lazlo (#2492)

Location: Indiana
Posted: 6473 days ago

Go to Louisville, Kentucky!
The mid-west gets dicked on everything cool.

Nicole (#2668)

Location: Virginia, USA
Quote: ""Drink my pee---pull like me!""
Posted: 6473 days ago

Alright, this must settle it: number--what? 20?

For D.C.


(Yes, Martin, we DO like you.)

(Very much.)


Genevieve SaDiablo (#2035)

Location: USA
Quote: "BAM! Now I have a SPICY ROCK!"
Posted: 6473 days ago

I have to agree with what someone (sorry, I can't find the post) already said: why is there no stop in the southeastern US?

Atlanta, GA would be nice. It's a big metro area, although unless you live *in* Atlanta, it'd be a drive and a half! Nashville is still a bit too Midwest if you ask me, and you have enough stops in the northern and southern Midwest as it goes.

Also, the two stops in Texas? WTF? There should be a limit on how close each stop can be from each other stop - like eight hours of interstate travel or something.

Unless DC gets added, you are not visiting a city even remotely close to me, so this is a purely intellectual decision on my part.

Scott (#2517)

Location: New York
Quote: "Get over yourself!"
Posted: 6473 days ago

I'll say it again NEW YORK!!!!! Where else is there really to go??? NYC baby!!!

MaceQuantex (#2672)

Location: Minnesota
Posted: 6472 days ago

Put down with the group that wants you to come to Minneapolis.

austin (#2462)

Location: rhode island
Quote: "hmmm...bleh..."
Posted: 6472 days ago

Just like go to every state for like 2 hours. that's like 100 hours. it's nothing. and everyone will be happy.

unless they can;t make it.

go for 4 hours to each state.

Dan (#2673)

Location: USA
Quote: "Trust your stuff."
Posted: 6472 days ago

I am glad to see Washington DC on that list.'s not on there at all!
Add somewhere near DC, I've never cared enough about any book or author to come to a book signing but I would come to this one.
Then you can visit those cowboys out in Perth.

Robert (#2152)

Location: Berlin, Germany
Posted: 6471 days ago

maybe we are getting 200 comments here!?

Machine Man subscriber John (#2674)

Location: South Carolina, USA
Posted: 6470 days ago

Definately the DC/Baltimore area. Huge market there. We'd love to see you!

kelly (#2681)

Location: dallas, tx
Quote: ""allow myself to introduce myself""
Posted: 6465 days ago

Dont listen to the bitter people outside of Dallas. Please keep Dallas on the list, Austin is great as well!

Chris (#2705)

Posted: 6454 days ago

Austin reads while the rest of Texas does not. Also it's a fun city unlike the rest of Texas. I currently live in Dallas, I am moving to Austin ... well once I find a job, damnit. ..... Actually you may want to visit your fans in Houston .... they need you the most ....


Jennifer (#2521)

Location: Madison, WI
Posted: 6452 days ago

I think that instead of Chicago, Milwaukee, WI or Madison, WI would be better. ;) But either way,I'll be there.


Eluvatar (#2716)

Location: Boston
Quote: "Man i waithtir nin tiruva?"
Posted: 6449 days ago

Boston? Yay!!

Boston is the only important city of the United States :P

blab (#1632)

Location: The Sandwich Isles
Quote: "Adventure is just poor planning"
Posted: 6448 days ago

What, TWO cities in California, TWO cities in Texas and not even a little bitty fuel stop in Honolulu, Hawaii? Max, Max, Max, this is unfair.

Justin (#2721)

Posted: 6446 days ago

w00t! See you in Ann Arbor my man! You better be coming while U of M is in session though man, I'll be extremely disappointed if I miss your visit cause I'm at home.

Taylor Cathcart (#2124)

Location: Seattle, Washington
Quote: "The elixir is hidden in the poison"
Posted: 6437 days ago

You really do have to come to Seattle.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 6404 days ago

I have it on good authority that we'll get some official dates soon.

By "good authority," I mean that Martin told me. I wanted it to sound more mysterious.

Mike Reason (#2743)

Location: Rhode Island, USA
Quote: ""Carpe Diem!""
Posted: 6370 days ago

You're visiting Boston? awesome.

Christian (#2908)

Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posted: 6337 days ago

Hey since your going to the states, why not run across the border to Canada. I swear it's not THAT cold, even compared to Australian standards.

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