MaxBarry.com
a/s/l?

Max Barry wrote the novels Syrup, Jennifer Government, Company, Machine Man, and Lexicon. He also created the game NationStates and once found a sock full of pennies.

Blog

Fri 24
Oct
2008

I’m growing a moustache

Max Max sans moustache“I’m growing a moustache,” I told Jen.

“No you’re not.”

“It’s for Movember. You know about Movember?”

“I know Movember,” she said. “But no. You’re not growing a moustache. They’re creepy.”

“Jen! This isn’t about the moustache. It’s for a good cause. It’s about raising awareness. You think I want to grow a moustache? Do you? Like, what, as if I’ve always secretly wanted to, but until now been denied by social pressure? Honestly!”

She eyed me. “You don’t actually know what the cause is, do you?”

“Of course I do,” I said, offended. “Frankly, it’s that kind of attitude that makes it so hard to get this particular cause taken as seriously as, obviously, this particular cause demands.”

Jen sighed.

“I believe it’s something to do with prostate cancer,” I said. “But I have a whole plan. I’ll announce it on my web site, see, and people can sponsor me.”

“Sponsor your moustache.”

“Right! Yes! They can sponsor my moustache.”

“It’s not just prostate cancer,” Jen said. “It’s men’s health issues in general, including depression.”

“Well, there you go. You can’t say no to that.”

She sighed again. “You’d better get some donations.”

[ Sponsor Max’s Moustache! ]

[ See Max’s Mo Page! ]

Comments

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Genevieve SaDiablo (#2035)

Location: USA
Quote: "BAM! Now I have a SPICY ROCK!"
Posted: 2008 days ago

If I had money, your moustache would be the first I'd support. Movember = awesomeness!

Colette (#324)

Location: Boise, Idaho, USA
Quote: "What's popcorn made of?"
Posted: 2008 days ago

Woo for moustaches!

Picto (#64)

Location: United Kingdom
Quote: "Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill"
Posted: 2008 days ago

I'm glad you have such an understanding wife! I'll sponsor, but you best be taking a photo every day and slapping up a photo album on this website!

spinne (#427)

Quote: "I'm not here to cock around."
Posted: 2008 days ago

Jen's right, they're creepy. D: But this... this is Going Places! Pics or it didn't happen!

Gregory Rubin (#72)

Location: Seattle, WA
Quote: "SSIMB!"
Posted: 2008 days ago

Considering that I'm now a proud mustache wearer (and have been for almost a year), I have to welcome you to the club and support this great endeavor!

(Sorry Jen.)

Linnea1928 (#2654)

Location: Rosemount, MN
Posted: 2008 days ago

Good for you, Max! Way to stand up for your right to look creepy.
No seriously, way to do something weird for a great cause!

Machine Man subscriber Stygian Emperor (#2947)

Location: Austin, TX
Quote: "Hope is but the first step down the path to disappointment."
Posted: 2007 days ago

I'm sorry. I can't endorse this. The mustache, I mean.

towr (#1914)

Location: Netherlands
Posted: 2007 days ago

What kind of moustache will it become? English? Dali? Imperial? Hungarian? (Just listing some from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Beard_and_Moustache_Championships )

Abgrund (#3357)

Location: Atlantis
Quote: ""Redeem your mind from the hockshops of authority." - Ayn Rand"
Posted: 2005 days ago

In the real world (i.e., the USA), a thirty-something balding (no offense) man with a moustache and no beard (or one of those nasty little over-pruned beards, like a goatee) might as well wear rainbow biker shorts and pink flipflops. It's like a 600 gigawatt gaydar beacon. Of /course/ the wife objects; she knows the next step is wearing leather chaps to an all-male singles bar.

towr (#1914)

Location: Netherlands
Posted: 2004 days ago

Here are some "artist impressions" of how Max might look with moustache: http://www.mediafire.com/imageview.php?quickkey=rvejnytmqlg&thumb=5

Machine Man subscriber Stygian Emperor (#2947)

Location: Austin, TX
Quote: "Hope is but the first step down the path to disappointment."
Posted: 2003 days ago

Hmm... What is Max's real hair color, anyway?

Machine Man subscriber gStein (#585)

Location: 127.0.0.1
Quote: "That's not change! That's more of the same!"
Posted: 2002 days ago

i would definitely donate, except i'm in the US... and my economy just imploded.

Alex B (#3736)

Location: South England
Quote: "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
Posted: 1997 days ago

A worthy cause Max, I've chucked a few AUD your way. Much like gStein our economy is looking pretty nasty here - but thankfully the exchange rates between GBP and AUD (and GBP and USD) are still rather favourable, making me seem much more generous then I really am!

Do realise though Max I'm expecting my moneys worth with this Moustache. I expect you to wear a fertalizer mo' mask to bed every night... that's sure to convince Jen how serious you are? Right?

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