Page 36.
Machine Man (serial)
Each stride of the Contours, my neck stretched so far back my head felt ready to pop right off. When each foot slammed down, my chin hit my chest hard enough to crack teeth. Through eyes blurred with tears, I saw a busy street approaching and thought: Oh thank God now they will stop. But they didn’t. They ran into the traffic. A sedan whipped by so close its turbulence tore at my hair. A truck the size of a building loomed above me, and I heard a terrified shriek, and realized it was me. There was a clicking deep within the Contours, something I felt rather than heard, and they stopped. I was about to die, I realized. I was about to learn why you didn’t conduct the first live field test of new technology while strapped to the top of it. This truck would run right over the top of me, and when it stopped and the driver climbed out, he would find a long bloody smear leading to a gleaming, undamaged pair of titanium legs. It would be the ultimate vindication of my work, proving the superiority of artificial body parts. But also the need for comprehensive bug-testing.
The legs bent and sprang. I screamed like a child. The truck, traffic, and road grew small and far away. I let go of the seat to flail my arms, as if I could grab the air, or fly. My upward velocity slowed, and for the briefest moment I was flying, moving leisurely forward sixty feet above the ground. It was kind of beautiful. Then I began to fall. The world grew larger and more dangerous. As it rushed toward me, my brain reckoned my terminal velocity at forty miles per hour: that was how fast I would be going when I hit the sidewalk.
Below, a woman and her young son gaped up at me. At first it seemed a terrible coincidence, them standing at the exact point I was destined to intersect the sidewalk. Then I realized it wasn’t. It was calculated. My legs saw these people as cushioning: physical objects that could help absorb the shock of impact. I had programmed them to avoid collisions on a horizontal plane, but anything lower than they were was considered ground. It had seemed a reasonable assumption at the time, in the lab.
Comments
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Ian Manka (#3916)
Location: Los Angeles, California (school) | Akron, Ohio (home)
Quote: "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
Posted: 5471 days ago
I think after this page should be the one word page Max wants to write, and it would read:
"SQUELCH."
Mapuche (#1184)
Location: Darwin, Australia
Quote: "Inconceivable!"
Posted: 5471 days ago
Chemical Rascal (#3964)
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "Don't read this. It's not relevant to anything. Go away."
Posted: 5471 days ago
Of more interest, though, is that Max, an Australian writer, is using imperial measurements...
Ajna (#3795)
Location: USA
Quote: "Judge if you want. We are all going to die one day. I intend to deserve it."
Posted: 5471 days ago
Ian Manka (#3916)
Location: Los Angeles, California (school) | Akron, Ohio (home)
Quote: "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
Posted: 5471 days ago
I noticed it when I read it, but didn't really care, because I'm in America... f--- yeah!
Also, I figured it fit in to the future world set up by "Jennifer Government," wherein most of the world spoke American. Albeit, not necessarily the same world.
But, if it *were* a part of the same world, wouldn't *that* be a plot twist:
"Better Future has aligned with Team Advantage. Ho hum. Too bad my new legs WILL CRUSH THEM ALL."
Well, it'd probably be better if I didn't write how it would tie into "Jennifer Government."
Joe M. (#3183)
Location: Texas
Quote: "Grooviness is essential"
Posted: 5471 days ago
Adam (#24)
Location: Morristown, Indiana
Quote: "Why do I blog? Simple, because Max Barry blogs."
Posted: 5471 days ago
Once properly calibrated, his legs(and possibly other appendages) will
be programmed to avoid landing on people. They will have a sense of where crime is, just take off, and save the world!
-adam
Mary Rose (#2854)
Location: San Francisco, CA
Quote: "go big or stay home"
Posted: 5471 days ago
Ashley (#3889)
Location: Denver
Posted: 5471 days ago
David (#1456)
Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote: "Why are the pretty ones always insane?"
Posted: 5471 days ago
Abgrund (#3357)
Location: Atlantis
Quote: ""Redeem your mind from the hockshops of authority." - Ayn Rand"
Posted: 5471 days ago
David (#1456)
Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote: "Why are the pretty ones always insane?"
Posted: 5471 days ago
The first thing you need to know about the rules for words in English is that there are none, anyone can make up new words, no forms required (USian is not my invention BTW, I came across it elsewhere. I'm just using it 'cause I like it.) Thus USian is a word, just one you were not familiar with previously.
Abgrund (#3357)
Location: Atlantis
Quote: ""Redeem your mind from the hockshops of authority." - Ayn Rand"
Posted: 5471 days ago
It's one of the many oddities of language that Americans are identified by the name of a continent or two rather than a more specific national name. There are innumerable examples of such usages, including the names of certain other nationalities. For instance, what do you call a citizen of the United Kingdom? Not a UKingdian, I think. If you're a sloppy American, you might call them English, irrespective of whether they reside in England, Scotland, Wales, or elsewhere. Or you might call them British - but Great Britain is only one of the British Isles. Can we get away with calling all the inhabitants of the British Isles British? I suspect the Irish would object. And what do we call the language of the Netherlands? Not Netherese, but Dutch - i.e., German, which it is not. This is just what happens when you give your country an awkward name.
Max
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 5471 days ago
Ian Manka (#3916)
Location: Los Angeles, California (school) | Akron, Ohio (home)
Quote: "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
Posted: 5470 days ago
...also:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Names_for_U.S._citizens
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=USian
Yannick (#3858)
Location: Heist, Belgium
Quote: "he reads things"
Posted: 5470 days ago
H.G.Wells (#2282)
Location: Portland, Oregon
Quote: "If you are flamable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. - Mitch Hedberg"
Posted: 5470 days ago
And I'd never heard of "USian" before - it's a good try but to me, it doesn't quite roll of the tongue the same way as American does it? I guess we'll have to keep looking. :)
Joe (#2270)
Location: Campbell, CA, USA
Quote: "I'm subverting the system from the inside. I think."
Posted: 5470 days ago
In "Company", the word "sacked" is repeatedly used, to the point where I started assuming that Jones must be British, because otherwise the dialog just felt wrong. The effect was amplified when they started calling him just "Jones"; it produced an even more British effect.
Abgrund (#3357)
Location: Atlantis
Quote: ""Redeem your mind from the hockshops of authority." - Ayn Rand"
Posted: 5470 days ago
Chemical Rascal (#3964)
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "Don't read this. It's not relevant to anything. Go away."
Posted: 5470 days ago
stanley becker (#5283)
Location: black hole
Quote: "DON"T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER!!"
Posted: 4757 days ago
stanley becker (#5283)
Location: black hole
Quote: "DON"T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER!!"
Posted: 4757 days ago
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