11.

To be honest, I'm not sure where the depleted-uranium ordnance will fit in. And I'm a little frightened to find out!

I have this image of our narrator working at the company from "Better Off Ted".

Should this be a new chapter? Just feels like a rather sudden topic switch from Page 10. Even just a short segue chapter.

(E.g. I'm reminded of a chapter in "So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish" which in entirety is ... "This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be the perfect time to disembark.")

I'm really hoping the Better Future and uranium ordinance will unfold a little more. As of right now this company is the most intriguing part of the story to me. Great so far!

Maybe it's just me watching too much "24," but I think it'd be interesting if "non-fatally removing much more of a person’s body than had previously been possible" meant that such a technique could be used for interrogation purposes.

e.g.:

JACK BAUER enters the interrogation room where a SUSPECTED TERRORIST is sitting.

JACK: Who are you working for?!?

The suspected terrorist stares blankly at Jack. Jack walks over to the side of the room, where a sleek silver briefcase (emblazoned with a "Better Future" logo) sits on a table. Jack withdraws a tool from the briefcase and thrusts it into the belly of the suspected terrorist.

JACK (growls): I'm currently removing your spleen. The best part about this? You won't die. And I promise you, this is only the beginning. Now, tell me who you are working for.

The suspected terrorist confesses, giving all information about hideouts, bosses, and objectives of his mission.

In the "Better Future" world of "24," a day's work for Jack Bauer only lasts an hour.

Anyways, getting back to my original point, it'd be interesting to see Better Future tools be used for something other than their intended purposes later in the novel, albeit less graphic than my disturbing example.

Hmmm! Am I noticing a Jonathon Coulton influence here. The company title is "Better Future", and could have a lot to do with the tracks...
- The Future Soon
- Better

Both of which are somewhat cyborg related (especially the latter)

http://www.jonathancoulton.com/store/downloads/
But then this is generally pretty geeky stuff anyways.

I'm thinking the softball team will factor in much more than would be expected. He'll either "get the girl", while watching them play, or, my favorite: Recruit the young'uns to help him out in the lab (Fetch this, get that, apply this tourniquet, put that arm over there, etc.). The sonic-based weapons intrigue me as well. An arm that (Samus Aran-style) can fire blasts of sound that can knock an intruder on their back? Hrm...

Dang, no April fool's joke?

A couple of pages ago I thought up quite possibly the dumbest idea I've ever thought of...making a book told from the perspective of the character's missing leg.

I'm just going to write that off as an early April Fools joke.


By the way, mentioning of a softball sponsoring was hilarious...and will have no significance later in the book. I write that because someone else predicted that it would. So no matter what, one of us will be right. Who is the better psychic?

-adam

My cousin was on that softball team, and one time this guy thought she had "Better F**k her" written on her jersey. She thought it was so funny, she 'accidentally' swung a bat at his head. If he hadn't executed a perfect drunken stumble at exactly the right time, he would have suffered a serious concussion rather than just a shattered elbow.

Less exposition, more jokes.

So, wait, you mean this *isn't* told from the leg's perspective?

Goddamn, what have I been thinking?

I've taken to holding off for 4 or 5 days, and then reading all of the new episodes back-to-back. It's more fun for me that way, and either because of this, or because Max is getting into the juicy part of the story (hi-tech and evil woman-machines) I'm looking forward to my next power-read in 4 or 5 days. Ha! another "first": a new definition for 'Power-Read': 500 words.

I thought the reference to Better Futures sponsoring a softball team was just an ironic dig at corporate hypocracy.

Nice exposition, Ian.

Today was the first day that I even read the other comments. Maxx, I feel for you....We babel and babel on about nothing most of the time. But let me say one more thing baa, bhhh, blueee, green---got it! Page okay--not sexy but needed building block.

I AM IRON MAN!

The movie version anyways, that's what I thought of with the "non-lethal sonic boom" stuff. Come on Max, go for broke! Kill people for literature. :P

Are you going to publish these comments along with the book? I think it would be silly, but at least something new :).

In the Future, your company will qualify events, in a "better" way - well, I searched through your specifications for "nano-bionics", which will offer organ replacement at an affordable price; for example your leg, and what with cryogenics you could always organize yourself a new brain, and then you'd be assured of a Better Future, Maxie boy.