MaxBarry.com
that guy, who wrote that thing

Max Barry wrote the novels Syrup, Jennifer Government, Company, Machine Man, and Lexicon. He also created the game NationStates and once found a sock full of pennies.

Blog

Thu 08
Dec
2005

Win! Company! Merchandise!

Company Zephyr HoldingsDoubleday has made up some Company coffee cups and Mission Statement posters and I’m allowed to give five away. This is fantastic, because usually this stuff goes to uninterested magazine editors already drowning in book-related collateral, and not to fans, who would stab their own mothers for it.

It’s like this: Company is set within a fictional corporation named Zephyr Holdings, and Doubleday’s cups and Mission Statements have Zephyr logos on them. There’s no mention of me or the novel, which seems a little odd for promotional merchandise, but then it does make them even more cool and obscure.

If you’d like to win a coffee cup and Mission Statement poster, all you need to do is get yourself on my mailing list. You can uncheck the relevant boxes so you don’t get my blogs by e-mail, if you want: the important thing is that you be on that list, and have followed the instructions to validate your email address. Don’t join multiple times, or I’ll disqualify you.

On Monday January 9th, 2006, I’ll randomly select five people from the mailing list and e-mail them. If I don’t get a reply or at least a vacation autoreply within a few days, I’ll draw somebody else.

Thanks to Doubleday for making this possible! It’s very cool of them.

(Note: I know from experience that a bunch of you are going to write in saying how much you’d love a Company coffee cup and you once had a Snoopy coffee cup but it got broken and through some process I can’t quite follow only a Company cup will make your life whole again so can I please just slip you one on the side. But I’m sorry, I can’t: I only have five to give away.)

Update: To clarify, yes, naturally everyone already on the list is automatically eligible.

Comments

This is where site members post comments. If you're not a member, you can join here. There are all kinds of benefits, including moral superiority!

Lapse (#86)

Location: Brisbane Australia
Quote: "You're adopted and we hate you."
Posted: 3058 days ago

whoa... nice
Your a champ Max ;)

now, you mentioned Snoopy, but how about Thomas the tank engine?
...sorry, just had to be said...

Chris (#816)

Location: Quebec, Canada
Posted: 3058 days ago

Awesome!

The people who are already on are automatically entered, right? :)

Saban (#15)

Location: Northern Virginia, USA
Quote: "Well, you may not get hurt, but huff puff, you won't get loved either."
Posted: 3058 days ago

Wondrous.
Now, my mothers irrational fear of knives and me can stay irrational.

She'll be pleased.

:-)

Machine Man subscriber Devin (#100)

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Quote: ""Toast sweat! It's the scourge of our time!""
Posted: 3058 days ago

I came to ask if the people who are already on the list are automatically in the contest too and it seems Chris has taken care of that duty for me. Anyways, this is cool - thanks for doing this Max! Of course the best prize would be an early copy of Company *wink wink*

Machine Man subscriber Xpovos (#958)

Location: Washington D.C.
Quote: "Time not important, only life important"
Posted: 3058 days ago

No! Not random! We hates it! To the first 5 posters!! (checks that he's in the top 5...)

Dryden (#840)

Location: Alabama
Quote: "Exciting Opportunity: This Space For Rent!"
Posted: 3058 days ago

Obviously, the only fair thing to do is give all five to me.

Erin (#1481)

Location: Seattle
Quote: "Living is easy with eyes closed"
Posted: 3058 days ago

Wow! How generous of you to give them to us instead of your friends. If I were you I'd hoarde them all to myself. But then, I suppose you do have a rather clever tactic to get more followers to your site. You clever dog you.

Picto (#64)

Location: United Kingdom
Quote: "Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill"
Posted: 3058 days ago

Like other people's comments, I presume us "early birds" are also in the competition?

Nate (#1064)

Location: Bowling Green, KY
Quote: "Once more into the breach, dear friends...."
Posted: 3058 days ago

Hey, don't count us late-bloomers out yet! Just because we procrastinate...jeez... ;)

Peter N.Bernath (#1041)

Location: Stockholm - Sweden
Quote: "Errr... Is that a tree growing out of your head? - Fallout 2"
Posted: 3058 days ago

Yupp, I'm gonna' have to kill someone if I don't get a hold of a cup.

The BIG question is, if it is possible to buy these elsewhere? If not, can I please create a website called www.maxbarrystuff.com and promote you and your books at the same time as I am selling valuable Max Barry merchandise? I'd sell 'em at nearly the cost of making them. I'd also ship worldwide. Don't know if I'd be able to accept credit cards though, but it's probably possible.

I'd only take 10% on top of what it costs me to make the merchandise, and Max will get 20% of that, so you will be helping a starving author and his family. As well as providing me with free Max Barry Stuff... ;) Who knows maybe we can also have random lotteries? Say a cup per 20 cups sold? ;)

Of course we'd have T-shirts, caps, mousepads (with Barrys weee little head on it) too, aswell as other merchandise that the fans request. Consider it a fansite, that makes the merchandise you want to buy. ;)

The only thing I need from you Max, is a big OK, as well as .tif (or high res) pictures to have something to print. Otherwise it'll be stickdeath.com all over again... (I can't draw at all, and it would result in stick portraits of you... Wait a minute, havn't you already done that?)

If you're interested, send me an e-mail and we'll discuss the final details. The agreements can be signed by mail so the distance is no problem.

*Does the twist to show how happy he is, Max that is...*

;)


I've got first dibs on www.maxbarrystuff.com, so no one else steal it all right?

Chris (#816)

Location: Quebec, Canada
Posted: 3058 days ago

Peter, I think that the problem might be that he's signed a contact that would prevent him from doing something like that. I'm sure that companies in the entertainment industry have learned their lesson after Universal let George Lucas keep virtually all the rights to merchandising. ;)

Otherwise, let us know when you get the site going. :D I'd love a JenGov t-shirt or something.

Zoomy (#1546)

Location: Outside Glasgow
Posted: 3058 days ago

Yay!

Peter N.Bernath (#1041)

Location: Stockholm - Sweden
Quote: "Errr... Is that a tree growing out of your head? - Fallout 2"
Posted: 3058 days ago

If Max supplies me with with the pictures/artwork, it's just a matter of me gettin' started. But as Chris explains, Mr Barrys hand are probably locked tight and he can't do anything about it. But who knows? Maybe I'll take a picture of my own Donut instead, and name the mug "Inc"... ;)

Luiz Eduardo (#1601)

Location: Minas Gerais, Brazil
Quote: "Guns don't kill people, people kill people"
Posted: 3058 days ago

omg. Too many posts to read. I'm always busy to do so. Nice logo, BTW...

Søren Rune Nissen (#877)

Location: Aalborg, Denmark
Quote: "What have you been reading the Gospel According to Saint Bastard? - The pope, as voiced by Eddie Izzard"
Posted: 3058 days ago

I'm another of those guys who just had to come by and ask "But if I'm already on the mailing list..?

Hey, in this installment, watch me make an ass of myself and tell an established writer how to write!

"If you’d like to win a coffee cup and Mission Statement poster, all you need to do is join my mailing list."

Could have been

"If you’d like to win a coffee cup and Mission Statement poster, all you need to do is being subscriped to my mailing list.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 3058 days ago

> The people who are already on are automatically entered, right? :)

Of course!

Søren Rune Nissen (#877)

Location: Aalborg, Denmark
Quote: "What have you been reading the Gospel According to Saint Bastard? - The pope, as voiced by Eddie Izzard"
Posted: 3058 days ago

Wee!

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 3058 days ago

> can I please create a website called www.maxbarrystuff.com
> and promote you and your books at the same time

I'd sure have no objections, if you think it's worth your time and trouble. But Chris is right: the artwork is owned by my publisher, so you'd have to talk to them about it. E-mail me and I'll hook you up.

metalbiteme (#1495)

Location: WALES UK
Quote: "Welcome to nowhere fast. Nothing here ever lasts."
Posted: 3058 days ago

www.max barrys TUFF.com ???
:-)

Andrew (#1279)

Location: Texas
Posted: 3057 days ago

Yeah..i hope i win :)...lol...


Rod McBride (#688)

Location: Gardner, KS
Quote: "www.MidwestRockLobster.blogspot.com"
Posted: 3057 days ago

Oooh, I'd even learn to drink coffee if I won a mug like that.

I work for a promotional products manufacturer, but we don't do mugs, so it still has genuine charm.

Rob2Kx (#1125)

Location: Canada
Quote: "Anything for laughs even if it kills you"
Posted: 3057 days ago

Who's Max Barry?

Grace (#1225)

Location: Melbourne aka The Cliffs of Insanity
Quote: "I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed."
Posted: 3057 days ago

Okay. So I'm gonna rain on your parade here.
At first I got excioted. Merchandise! Excellent! Free! Even better! But then I saw the logo.
Has anyone noticed how completely dodgy that logo is? I designed better sutff in year 12 graphic design class... and I failed.
That's not to say I won't happily accept any free mcguffin that may happen to be flung my way (should I be so lucky) despite all my whinging.

But it ain't pretty. Or memorable. Even the colours are *gack* snotty. Doubleday ain't trying hard enough!

Can't wait for the book to come out though. I need to read something that combines humour with paranoia...

Paul (#104)

Location: Connecticut, USA
Quote: ""Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating. " --Brazil (1985 movie)"
Posted: 3057 days ago

Free Company merchandise!?! Awesomeness! This is gonna make some of us verrrryyyy happy :)

Wow a coffee cup AND a promo poster? I'd definitely use the cup, and the poster would of course be added to the Max Barry shrine in the corner of my room ;)

I actually like the logo. Clean, simple, easy to remember and recognize. At least, that's what a [useless] executive charged with approving the logo might say as he's too busy eating another doughnut.

Peter N.Bernath (#1041)

Location: Stockholm - Sweden
Quote: "Errr... Is that a tree growing out of your head? - Fallout 2"
Posted: 3057 days ago

Dropped a line to Max.

*stares at the monitor, waiting for the mail to pop up*

Machine Man subscriber M.I.Minter (#347)

Location: Houston Texas, USA
Quote: "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Posted: 3057 days ago

You should make the people swear on a stack of your books that they will not sell them on e bay.

This also begs the question:
Why aren't you selling them on this site?
or somewhere.....to meet demand!?!
Why don't you get someone to produce them and sell them your self?
Why won't you listen to me?

I only want to make you rich....
and powerful
and change you
so you're too good for your friends
and tuna strait from the can
and hotels with out room service
and wire hangers
and you loose your edge
and then rediscover your self
and write the greatest book in all of history
and then lose it all again
when run on sentances become hip
and everybody flocks to me!

Why won't you let me do that for you?

Alex Weston (#1794)

Location: James Madison U. Virginia, USA
Quote: "Max(x) is awesome"
Posted: 3056 days ago

Is there any way i can ensure a cup by flattering you or with a bribe?

Michael (#1299)

Location: Northern California
Quote: "Chugachugachoochoo"
Posted: 3056 days ago

In order to endear myself to you so that you subconsciously think of me when deciding the winners, I composed a little jingle for Zephyr Holdings Inc.:

Unfortunately, it really sucks, so I decided not to put it up here. OK, actually, I'm far too lazy to compose a jingle, as that would be something like... work... or something.

Oh well. I do agree with Grace (#1225) though, thats some fairly hideous logo I'm afraid. Ohh Halloween colors! Makes me want corn candies though, which I guess is something.

Still, be awesome to have one of those mugs. Good luck everyone.

Greg Karber (#1568)

Location: gregkarber.com
Posted: 3056 days ago

Max can't be swayed by emotions.

But can he be bought? Aye, that's the question.

Phill Sacre (#1822)

Location: London, UK
Quote: "Computers are like air conditioners. Both stop working, if you open windows."
Posted: 3056 days ago

Ok, this was the perfect opportunity to register. I've been reading your blog for about two years now, just never actually got around to registering... but hey, why not register when there's the opportunity of winning something? ;)

Bony Tony (#1343)

Location: United States
Posted: 3056 days ago

Pa-Pa-Pa Pweeeese Mistuwr. can i haff ta cup im so fursty =[

Joseph (#1825)

Location: Jeffersonville, Indiana, USA
Quote: "With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels."
Posted: 3056 days ago

I joined not just for the free chance at Zephyr INC. goodies. Well, ok. I lied. I joined mainly for the chance at free Zephyr INC goodies. However I have bought and read both Syrup and Jennifer Goverment. Plus played nation states (if you can actually play it) and visited the website frequently for updates. I am a loyal fan. Now that this message is done and out of the way for some pointless reason I feel its time I correct the spelling of my name in my profile.

Miles (#1833)

Location: UK
Quote: ""Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what's for lunch" - Orson Welles"
Posted: 3055 days ago

I joined not for the chance of freebies, I joined to get Max's ever entertaining and witty posts by e-mail!


What's that? Randomly selected? Oh. All right then.

But seriously: Jennifer Government is one of my favourite books ever and I played Nation Sates for a long time. And Max's posts really are entertaining and witty.

Machine Man subscriber Xavier Desroches (#1840)

Location: Brossard, Qc, Ca
Quote: "Smile, Tomorrow Will Be Worse... - Murphy"
Posted: 3055 days ago

What If I win?!? I'd have to start drinking coffee!!! Even worst! I'd have to build a house to host the poster if I win one! Damn it! Who had this dumb idea?!? ;-)

Just kidding, lets pray to "The god of random" (Which is a paradox since if there is a god, there shouldn't be things as random, nor non-random things... oh... I think my brain crashed...)

James Heath (#1846)

Location: Nottingham, England
Quote: ""I've done it before and I'll do it again - I'll F***ing Kill Google!" - Steve Ballmer"
Posted: 3055 days ago

Let's set the up the Max Barry Stuff Ebay Vigilantes! (MBSEV)
We'll fall down like a ton (metric, that is) of rocks on anyone who dares sell such on Ebay! A ton of frenzied Max Barry fans, that is.

M. Kilbain Lazer (#1709)

Location: Holland
Quote: "I guess we're awesome"
Posted: 3055 days ago

I think the best arsekisser should get the one of the five freebies. I would like to read those comments of desperate people and toss in some of my own too ;)

Gregory Rubin (#72)

Location: Seattle, WA
Quote: "SSIMB!"
Posted: 3054 days ago

A free mug and poster? Ooh, that sounds great. Max you better be careful where you run that random number generator ...

Luiz Eduardo (#1601)

Location: Minas Gerais, Brazil
Quote: "Guns don't kill people, people kill people"
Posted: 3054 days ago

>Who's Max Barry?

He didn't ask this... he didn't ask this...

David (#1848)

Location: Texas
Quote: "Delighted!"
Posted: 3054 days ago

I think the logo is just right, as typical corporate imagery. Fits right in with a mission statement, etc.

Colette (#324)

Location: Boise, Idaho, USA
Quote: "What's popcorn made of?"
Posted: 3052 days ago

So, people in the "Lower Numbers" get priority, riiiiight?

Kristen (#1157)

Location: Jersey
Quote: "Insert quotation here."
Posted: 3051 days ago

The Zephyr Holdings logo reminds me vaguely of the zipa.com logo (the hosting company for Something Awful)... same colors... just more ovular and slanty... and with dots... OK, so the colors are the same and there's a Z. I want a mug. That is all.

Machine Man subscriber Jarrad (#837)

Location: Hobart
Posted: 3047 days ago

At a glance I just thought it was the new Ch7 tv logo (for us Aussies)- there is something in this...

Machine Man subscriber Julie Totsch (#1341)

Location: Racine, WI
Quote: ""The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost"
Posted: 3044 days ago

Hey, I've just had a thought...

The publisher owns the images that publisher places on the books, but the publisher would not own Max's image, nor do I believe the publisher would own famous quotes from any of Max's books, so...

You could do a site with products that have Max's picture and his awesome quotes.

Whatever that may be...

(hmmm, it's late and I'm still at work, perhaps I should go home and lie down.)

Peter N.Bernath (#1041)

Location: Stockholm - Sweden
Quote: "Errr... Is that a tree growing out of your head? - Fallout 2"
Posted: 3044 days ago

Julie Totsch: Miles ahead of you... I'll let you guys know when it's done.

Adam Messinger (#1124)

Location: Kansas, USA
Quote: "www.adammessinger.com"
Posted: 3018 days ago

Grace (#1225): I think the logo is <em>supposed</em> to be ugly and obscure. That's part of the joke.

Adam Messinger (#1124)

Location: Kansas, USA
Quote: "www.adammessinger.com"
Posted: 3018 days ago

Oops, I guess HTML doesn't work. Pretend that "supposed" is italicized in my above comment.

Also, I just now read this from the Chapter One sample: "Perched at the top [of the building] is the word ZEPHYR and the corporate logo, which is an orange and black polygon of foggy intent."

Gud (#228)

Location: Melbourne
Posted: 3012 days ago

So, Max, can you tell us who won the Company merchandise - my stupid webmail is with Yahoo and everytime I try to access it it tells me there's been an error and it can't retrieve my emails!!!
Thanks,

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