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Page 73.
Machine Man (serial)

I walked to my lab and swiped my way into the Glass Room. This was not the smartest idea, because I had been awake for twenty hours and could feel an adrenaline crash coming. But I didn’t want to lie in that room, alone but for a dead potted plant, staring at the ceiling. I didn’t want to wait for the inevitable ache to begin creeping into muscles I didn’t have. Most of all, I didn’t want to think about what I’d just asked Cassandra Cautery to do.

My lab assistants greeted me cordially, as always. I walked through to Lab 3, switched on the halogen lights, and lowered the Contours to a comfortable height before the workstation. Spread across the bench were many very delicate hand-fabricated metal parts. They didn’t look like anything much at the moment. But this was my hobby, on which I’d worked in between my project work over the last four weeks. As far as anyone else knew, it was project work. But it wasn’t. It was an idea I’d had. A present. I was making Lola a heart.

73.

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Machine Man subscriber Impotent Verse (#3907)

Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 6331 days ago

What's the date? For maximum impact, Charlie should gift wrap it and give it to her on 14-Feb.

I'm such an old romantic *blushes*.

"She will scream and try to run
But there's nowhere she can hide
When a crazy cyborg wants to make you his robot bride"
The Future Soon - Jonathan Coulton

Machine Man subscriber Chemical Rascal (#3964)

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "Don't read this. It's not relevant to anything. Go away."
Posted: 6331 days ago

Cassandra isn't going to be happy. Charlie's not being as productive as he should be. Wasting company time, tsk tsk.

Machine Man subscriber fredzfrog (#2368)

Location: Moe
Quote: "Fredzfrog"
Posted: 6331 days ago

so he was going to give lola his (newly made) heart? awwwww.. :)

Machine Man subscriber Mapuche (#1184)

Location: Darwin, Australia
Quote: "Inconceivable!"
Posted: 6331 days ago

Very polarised - What did he ask Cautery to do that he feels so bad about, whilst on the other hand doing something as idealistic, noble and romantic as making the object of his (warped) affections a new heart?

Machine Man subscriber Morlok8k (#4133)

Location: The Moon
Quote: "I like stuff..."
Posted: 6331 days ago

Ok, come on... I love this story but I just figured out the one thing that has been bugging me for a while...

Transitions.

There are none between pages. (Well, only sometimes.)

Each page is a little chunk of story, that sometimes flows nicely from the last chunk, but lately its been lacking somewhat. We had 3 pages of Lola that flowed then suddenly out of the blue we had Cassandra for a page, and then he walks down to his lab.

Max, I know that this is your writing style, and you've done the same thing in your 3 printed books, but there you put an icon or graphic or just a simple horizontal line to show this jump in the stream of narration. It almost seems like you are taking advantage of the daily pages to provide this jump, which does not do it justice.

That said, I like the story so far.

Machine Man subscriber Felix (#4236)

Location: NZ
Quote: "I'm naked underneath my clothes"
Posted: 6331 days ago

The page by page feel is sort of a feature/device of this way of presenting this story.. The daily releases mean that each page can be slightly disjointed and not necessarily read like a book when read all at once.

Machine Man subscriber David (#1456)

Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote: "Why are the pretty ones always insane?"
Posted: 6331 days ago

I think Charlie is making a new heart for Lola having asked Cassandra to arrange the removal of someone else's. He's just a mixed up cyborg sweetheart.

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6331 days ago

Of course he is making her a new heart. What I want to know is what he is so upset about asking Cassie, she is a lawyer who takes her job seriously and would be a little out of character to go against the law. Not that it would be beyond her but she seems to really dislike cleaning up messes.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 6331 days ago

I have a confession: I screwed up my pages this week. This one was actually written as a Thursday page. Then about half an hour before it was due to go out, I realized it was Friday. It was a busy day.

That's not terrible, because a Friffhanger every week gets kind of cliched. But I feel I should admit I didn't really mean to end the week on this page.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 6331 days ago

@Morlok8k: I think the transitions bug people who come here expecting a novel, especially if you read online, quickly paging through. But it's not a novel; it's a serial. Each page, I have to assume that some time has passed since you read the last one--at least a day, maybe a few--and you won't remember exactly what was happening. I also assume that when you finish this page, you can't immediately read the next one, so it damn well better have something in the way of a satisfying conclusion.

So I know what you mean, but the enforced break between each page is part of this format. It's something new for me, and I like the challenge of crafting these small, almost-self-contained scenes.

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6330 days ago

So there I am, 4:00 AM MST, awake because I woke up needing some water. I think, hey, its 4:00 AM MST, todays release should be dropping right now. I go to my computer and look to read it thinking I might get to comment first... AND ITS SATURDAY!!! lol

BTW
@Max: Good to see you using the word your fans coined. Pev and Dabbeljuh will appreciate that, I am sure.

Machine Man subscriber Morlok8k (#4133)

Location: The Moon
Quote: "I like stuff..."
Posted: 6330 days ago

@Max:
I see your point. I only really noticed (and vented) when I looked back at the previous pages to refresh my memory of what had just happened, and the Cassandra page just seemed like it was dropped in.

I forgot to mention earlier that this page did have a transition by saying he walked down to his lab. Time and space can be hard to judge in this story sometimes due to the serial nature of it.

Machine Man subscriber Toby O (#2900)

Location: Sydney
Quote: "vote with your wallet"
Posted: 6329 days ago

i hope the heart is as fickle as lola.

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6329 days ago

I was just reading the personal quotes and found them quite interesting. Pev's, however, is not just interesting, it is on topic.

Machine Man subscriber Alex (#237)

Location: London, England
Quote: "We're today's scrambled creatures, locked in tomorrow's double feature"
Posted: 6328 days ago

Feeling vindicated about getting Thursday and Friday mixed up now :)

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