Machine Man (serial)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

“I love you, Charlie,” Lola said. “But I’m not sure how much you is in there.”

I stared at Carl. This didn’t seem to be a trick. His chest did not rise or fall. He was genuinely non-living.

“I think you took a bad turn,” she said. “Because at first you really were making yourself better. You were taking charge of your body. But then it started to go the other way. I noticed that a while ago. And when at Angelica’s your legs stopped working, I thought… I thought, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Because you might start to get in charge again.”

Carl was off. He was non-functional. He was disabled. He was dead.

“I’m not against self-improvement,” she said. “I just think you’ve started going backward.”

The sirens were very loud now. Then they stopped. Somewhere below us, I heard engines. Voices. When I turned to Lola, reflected blue light flickered across her face.

“Charlie, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. But not because of your body.”

I felt a bubble of grief rising within me. Because she was very lovely, standing here telling me to shed myself: she was a girl who loved me and they did not come along every day; they had not come along in my lifetime prior to this. “Lola,” I said, and my parts said: Shoot her. Which kind of proved Lola’s point. My grief sharpened and I realized it wasn’t for her. It was for them. “I love you,” I said, and I wasn’t sure who I was talking to, but my parts said: I love you too.

Then my arm died.

174.