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Page 68.
Machine Man (serial)

I grabbed a hand, six fingers, and two thumbs, and hurried out of the Repository. None of this made much sense. I was just carrying whatever I could. I wished I could take some legs, but they weighed a ton. Two tons, in the case of the Fragmenters. And here I was with weak, fleshy arms, which could barely manage two bags of groceries. If I had my metal arms—but I wasn’t thinking about that. I wasn’t thinking about where my metal arms might be right now. Who they might be attached to. I squeezed my multifunction fingers to my chest and let the Contours bear me away.

The elevator was empty. I was glad about this, because if the doors had slid open to reveal Better Future guards, I don’t know what would have happened. There might have been some kicking. I was agitated and not confident of making completely logical decisions. All I could think about was gathering everything I valued in one place and defending it.

So I went to Lola. But she was not in her suite. She was not anywhere on that level; at least, I didn’t see her when I roamed the length of it, calling her name. I saw a few managers, and quite a lot of personal assistants. From their expressions, it became clear that I would soon also be seeing some security guards, so I turned back to the stairs.

The Contours were surprisingly bad here. Twice they stopped, and I had to soft-reset them, by imagining raising my knee three times. I think they had trouble identifying level surfaces. I would have to investigate this later. It meant that by the time I emerged on the sub-level for Lola’s old medical recovery room, and kicked the stairwell door off its hinges, the guards had already arrived.

“Dr. Neumann,” said one. Not Carl, of course. A substitute, young and sweaty. “I would very much appreciate it if you could calm down a second.”

I weighed my odds of getting past these guys on the Contours before anyone drew a weapon. I thought they were pretty good. A temporary solution, but still: better than letting them take me. Then Lola emerged from a doorway. “Charlie? What are you doing?”

“What are you doing? I’ve been looking for you.”

Lola glanced over her shoulder. “They asked me to help. There’s a man, who… well, they thought I could help.”

“What man?” This seemed to come out of my mouth very slowly, as if I were drunk: Whaaat maannn.

“It’s, um, that security man. His name is Carl.”

“Uck,” I said.

“He doesn’t have any arms,” Lola said, and in her eyes I saw a terrible light, like love.

68.

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Machine Man subscriber Impotent Verse (#3907)

Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 6338 days ago

Argh! How can Lola fall for the guy who shot her in the heart twice?

Great, now we have to wait all weekend to find out. Nice Friffhanger, Max! (sulks).

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Friffhanger

:)

Machine Man subscriber Felix (#4236)

Location: NZ
Quote: "I'm naked underneath my clothes"
Posted: 6338 days ago

As if he needed another motive to further violate his own flesh, Charlie now has competition for Lola.

I wonder if competitive limb-replacing will ever become a legitimate way to compete for the love of a woman?

Machine Man subscriber Alex (#237)

Location: London, England
Quote: "We're today's scrambled creatures, locked in tomorrow's double feature"
Posted: 6338 days ago

The hussy!

Machine Man subscriber Sander (#4031)

Location: Amsterdam, NL
Quote: "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. —Anonymous"
Posted: 6338 days ago

Little nitpick, even if he had metal arms, he would have carried the weight effectively with his torso (or maybe the arms would have ripped off). Unless he somehow can connect the shoulders to the hips, bypassing the torso, then he can carry a lot more weight I guess.

Back to the story, I hope the he built a safeguard in the arms so that when he shouts the magic words the arms start pounding the face of the person they are attached to ;)

Machine Man subscriber Craig Jelic (#3999)

Location: Canberra
Posted: 6338 days ago

Maybe carl realises that for it to work fully you need to replace everything. Load your consciousness into a hard drive and lose the body.

Machine Man subscriber dabbeljuh (#4114)

Posted: 6338 days ago

<<Coined (possibly as a typographical mistake) by the subscriber 'dabbeljuh' to Max Barry's book Machine Man...>>

I don't think subscribers to a Max Barry book do such severe typographical mistakes..

nice twist, the probability of a carl - charlie cyborg confrontation has substantially increased ~

Machine Man subscriber SexCpotatoes (#2188)

Location: Navarre, Ohio
Quote: ""Democracy is the theory that the common man knows what he wants, and deserves to get it good and hard." - H. L. Mencken"
Posted: 6338 days ago

In one of the issues of the comic book Global Frequency, a woman with a mechanical arm is part of the team sent against a full-body enhancile run amok, and she explains that you can't just slap an arm on, you have to strengthen the spine and tie it to reinforced bones and muscles in the shoulder/ribs as well, otherwise the arm would rip right off of your body the first time you flexed it.

Machine Man subscriber SexCpotatoes (#2188)

Location: Navarre, Ohio
Quote: ""Democracy is the theory that the common man knows what he wants, and deserves to get it good and hard." - H. L. Mencken"
Posted: 6338 days ago

Plus, does anyone else see the love triangle turning into a quadrangle. I mean, sure, Lola is the prosthetic aficionado, but now she has Carl to work on. Dr. Neumann is the engineer, that has done most of the work so far, maybe it can be improved upon by someone with a background in plastic replacement limbs, but he's the brilliant one with the expertise for all the power supply and interfacing systems (with his team of assistants of course).

My prediction, he ends up with the lawyer, Cassandra Cautery (who has let her human side slip and show a little), and Lola ends up with Carl (cue the Bon Jovi "You give love a bad name" in case that reference wasn't clear), and they all live happily ever after to make thousands of machine babies. That, or they pair off however and go on to form rival companies in the burgeoning machine body replacement industry. I guess we shall see.

Machine Man subscriber coolpillows (#3749)

Location: new york general sort of vicinity
Quote: ""It's not working" -- Joseph Clark"
Posted: 6338 days ago

My money's on Charlie & Lola, eventually. Carl can do all he wants, but he's just a body. Of course, Carl could eventually become Charlie & vice versa so to speak...all at once.

And, hey, did someone already call attention to the similarity in naming "Charlie" and "Carl." Maybe they become...."Carly." Cyber-gender-bending anyone? (see "Urban Dictionary") FFWD to Monday plz!

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6338 days ago

Way to go Pev, I knew you had it in you lol.

You know what is awesome about this book? The method of release. Here we have a group of people with names like coolpillows, sexCpotatoes, 'always-interesting' Pev and Alex (too everyone I missed, I am just making a point, would love to write you all down) discussing a book that doesnt even exist yet. Its like a horse race, you have a grandstand full of people betting on an unsure outcome, each urging on their particular horse to win.

Except here our writings actually matter as Max reads this and thinks, "Oh... your money is on Charlie and Lola hey? HAHAHA sucker!" and then coolpillows owes the bookie a new house.

At the same time, we get to enjoy talking to people with very internet names, its like an MMO storybook. lol its cool. but not coolpillows (sorry dude, lol)

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6338 days ago

Too Felix, of course it does, where do you think Termin@tors came from. ;)

Lola, if she is having love in her eyes because of Carl and not because Charlie made the arms, is a very sick person. She basically loves what you dont have, your lack of parts. She also shows signs, then, of a "flavor of the week" personality, like a young girl. Perhaps she experienced a severe traumatic shock as a child and has regression issues because of that. Or perhaps she is just "[a] hussy", to quote Alex.

As for Charlie, my next set of legs would have guns that fold up into the legs and I would start working on a skeletal overlay structure similar to "The Wolverines" in private, perhaps using Nano-robots to attach it. Bulletproof skin would also be on my mind. And maybe anti-bullet point defense turrets. ( I just thought of that last one, I like it, I would cut off my legs for point defense turrets, lol ;) )

Take care all.

Machine Man subscriber Stygian Emperor (#2947)

Location: the Stygian Empire
Quote: "Flesh is a design flaw."
Posted: 6338 days ago

Gawd, anti-BULLET point-defense? That's gonna be some high tech.

He needs a weapon-arm, stat.

Machine Man subscriber Isaac (#4089)

Posted: 6338 days ago

I think point defenses work better against larger, slower moving projectiles like rocket propelled grenades.... I'm pretty sure that bullets can be easily enough stopped with armor that it's not a worth while investment.

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6337 days ago

I still think with a little ingenuity point defense or even drone guns could be done. Maybe laser point defense, light travels faster than bullets. Stop bashing my sweet idea lol, jk.
Technically, that's true about point defense and rockets, this supports my idea for bullet proof skin, lol. At this point any anti-carl defense systems would be being considered seriously. Historically nothing promotes advances in technology as fast as war, and this seems to be turning into a battle for Lola's affections.

Machine Man subscriber Toby O (#2900)

Location: Sydney
Quote: "vote with your wallet"
Posted: 6336 days ago

To activate the gun, think "wiggle pinky toe" amirite?? The real trick of course is deactivating it: "flex patella"

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6336 days ago

lol, so there is charlie, in a fire fight, with a look like he is constipated, kinda bouncing around a bit, some on yells over to him "You okay?"
He replies, "I cant remember how to move my pinky toe!!!! HELP ME!!!"
lol Then once he gets it going he realizes a subordinate programmed the deactivation sequence and they didnt know what a patella is. After a careful search he realizes he is supposed to flex one of his skull plate bones and at this point becomes certain he is doomed, as obviously the body is not programmed biologically to be able to flex bone. lol

Machine Man subscriber CrystalR (#4160)

Posted: 6336 days ago

Oh man, real-time shipping. Crazy fangirls would be all over this.

Machine Man subscriber Isaac (#4089)

Posted: 6335 days ago

the main problem I see with using an active protection system against bullets is ability of the tracking element to identify the projectile before it impacts; this challenge is made greater by bullets both by there greater speed and by the possibility of much smaller ranges of engagement. I don't think using bullets or explosive rounds (as long as they did not introduce a shrapnel hazard) would be an issue, infact they might be better because the laser would require some time on target and this would place demands on the turret for a very fast and very accurate rate of traverse. The demand for speed would be vastly increased by firing projectiles that pass near the turret too.

even if you overcome the obstacles to tracking chemically propelled bullets, the emergence of rail-guns would make tracking almost impossible for a round fired at close range (with flight times that are at a minimum of 4 times those of chemically propelled bullets, you can be quite a bit more liberal about what constitutes close range too)

I say, make a really advanced active defense system for Carl to 'steel', then turn him into swiss cheese with a gattling rail gun.

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