Page 68.
Machine Man (serial)
I grabbed a hand, six fingers, and two thumbs, and hurried out of the Repository. None of this made much sense. I was just carrying whatever I could. I wished I could take some legs, but they weighed a ton. Two tons, in the case of the Fragmenters. And here I was with weak, fleshy arms, which could barely manage two bags of groceries. If I had my metal arms—but I wasn’t thinking about that. I wasn’t thinking about where my metal arms might be right now. Who they might be attached to. I squeezed my multifunction fingers to my chest and let the Contours bear me away.
The elevator was empty. I was glad about this, because if the doors had slid open to reveal Better Future guards, I don’t know what would have happened. There might have been some kicking. I was agitated and not confident of making completely logical decisions. All I could think about was gathering everything I valued in one place and defending it.
So I went to Lola. But she was not in her suite. She was not anywhere on that level; at least, I didn’t see her when I roamed the length of it, calling her name. I saw a few managers, and quite a lot of personal assistants. From their expressions, it became clear that I would soon also be seeing some security guards, so I turned back to the stairs.
The Contours were surprisingly bad here. Twice they stopped, and I had to soft-reset them, by imagining raising my knee three times. I think they had trouble identifying level surfaces. I would have to investigate this later. It meant that by the time I emerged on the sub-level for Lola’s old medical recovery room, and kicked the stairwell door off its hinges, the guards had already arrived.
“Dr. Neumann,” said one. Not Carl, of course. A substitute, young and sweaty. “I would very much appreciate it if you could calm down a second.”
I weighed my odds of getting past these guys on the Contours before anyone drew a weapon. I thought they were pretty good. A temporary solution, but still: better than letting them take me. Then Lola emerged from a doorway. “Charlie? What are you doing?”
“What are you doing? I’ve been looking for you.”
Lola glanced over her shoulder. “They asked me to help. There’s a man, who… well, they thought I could help.”
“What man?” This seemed to come out of my mouth very slowly, as if I were drunk: Whaaat maannn.
“It’s, um, that security man. His name is Carl.”
“Uck,” I said.
“He doesn’t have any arms,” Lola said, and in her eyes I saw a terrible light, like love.





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Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 6338 days ago
Great, now we have to wait all weekend to find out. Nice Friffhanger, Max! (sulks).
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Friffhanger
:)
Location: NZ
Quote: "I'm naked underneath my clothes"
Posted: 6338 days ago
I wonder if competitive limb-replacing will ever become a legitimate way to compete for the love of a woman?
Location: London, England
Quote: "We're today's scrambled creatures, locked in tomorrow's double feature"
Posted: 6338 days ago
Location: Amsterdam, NL
Quote: "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. Anonymous"
Posted: 6338 days ago
Back to the story, I hope the he built a safeguard in the arms so that when he shouts the magic words the arms start pounding the face of the person they are attached to ;)
Location: Canberra
Posted: 6338 days ago
Posted: 6338 days ago
I don't think subscribers to a Max Barry book do such severe typographical mistakes..
nice twist, the probability of a carl - charlie cyborg confrontation has substantially increased ~
Location: Navarre, Ohio
Quote: ""Democracy is the theory that the common man knows what he wants, and deserves to get it good and hard." - H. L. Mencken"
Posted: 6338 days ago
Location: Navarre, Ohio
Quote: ""Democracy is the theory that the common man knows what he wants, and deserves to get it good and hard." - H. L. Mencken"
Posted: 6338 days ago
My prediction, he ends up with the lawyer, Cassandra Cautery (who has let her human side slip and show a little), and Lola ends up with Carl (cue the Bon Jovi "You give love a bad name" in case that reference wasn't clear), and they all live happily ever after to make thousands of machine babies. That, or they pair off however and go on to form rival companies in the burgeoning machine body replacement industry. I guess we shall see.
Location: new york general sort of vicinity
Quote: ""It's not working" -- Joseph Clark"
Posted: 6338 days ago
And, hey, did someone already call attention to the similarity in naming "Charlie" and "Carl." Maybe they become...."Carly." Cyber-gender-bending anyone? (see "Urban Dictionary") FFWD to Monday plz!
Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6338 days ago
You know what is awesome about this book? The method of release. Here we have a group of people with names like coolpillows, sexCpotatoes, 'always-interesting' Pev and Alex (too everyone I missed, I am just making a point, would love to write you all down) discussing a book that doesnt even exist yet. Its like a horse race, you have a grandstand full of people betting on an unsure outcome, each urging on their particular horse to win.
Except here our writings actually matter as Max reads this and thinks, "Oh... your money is on Charlie and Lola hey? HAHAHA sucker!" and then coolpillows owes the bookie a new house.
At the same time, we get to enjoy talking to people with very internet names, its like an MMO storybook. lol its cool. but not coolpillows (sorry dude, lol)
Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6338 days ago
Lola, if she is having love in her eyes because of Carl and not because Charlie made the arms, is a very sick person. She basically loves what you dont have, your lack of parts. She also shows signs, then, of a "flavor of the week" personality, like a young girl. Perhaps she experienced a severe traumatic shock as a child and has regression issues because of that. Or perhaps she is just "[a] hussy", to quote Alex.
As for Charlie, my next set of legs would have guns that fold up into the legs and I would start working on a skeletal overlay structure similar to "The Wolverines" in private, perhaps using Nano-robots to attach it. Bulletproof skin would also be on my mind. And maybe anti-bullet point defense turrets. ( I just thought of that last one, I like it, I would cut off my legs for point defense turrets, lol ;) )
Take care all.
Location: the Stygian Empire
Quote: "Flesh is a design flaw."
Posted: 6338 days ago
He needs a weapon-arm, stat.
Posted: 6338 days ago
Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6337 days ago
Technically, that's true about point defense and rockets, this supports my idea for bullet proof skin, lol. At this point any anti-carl defense systems would be being considered seriously. Historically nothing promotes advances in technology as fast as war, and this seems to be turning into a battle for Lola's affections.
Location: Sydney
Quote: "vote with your wallet"
Posted: 6336 days ago
Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 6336 days ago
He replies, "I cant remember how to move my pinky toe!!!! HELP ME!!!"
lol Then once he gets it going he realizes a subordinate programmed the deactivation sequence and they didnt know what a patella is. After a careful search he realizes he is supposed to flex one of his skull plate bones and at this point becomes certain he is doomed, as obviously the body is not programmed biologically to be able to flex bone. lol
Posted: 6336 days ago
Posted: 6335 days ago
even if you overcome the obstacles to tracking chemically propelled bullets, the emergence of rail-guns would make tracking almost impossible for a round fired at close range (with flight times that are at a minimum of 4 times those of chemically propelled bullets, you can be quite a bit more liberal about what constitutes close range too)
I say, make a really advanced active defense system for Carl to 'steel', then turn him into swiss cheese with a gattling rail gun.
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