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Page 23.
Machine Man (serial)

Days passed and no-one visited. In this respect it was just like my first time in the hospital. The difference was now I wanted them to. Well, not them. Her. I wanted to see Lola Banks barge through the door, her arms full of legs.

I couldn’t ask the nurses to send her. Since they had turned hostile, letting them know I wanted something was a strategic mistake. My meals were proof enough of that. But I couldn’t wait, either. On the fifth day, just as I was formulating a plan involving dragging myself across the floor to the phone in the hall, Lola appeared. She was not carrying any prosthetic limbs. It was just her, in a too-big shirt and crooked glasses. She hung in the doorway like she was afraid to enter.

“Hi,” I said.

She chewed her lip. Then she marched toward me, but stopped two feet short of my bed. “You crushed your own leg.”


She said, “Why.” The word came out of her mouth like it was heavy. It slid bonelessly to the floor and lay there.

I shrugged. It seemed obvious. Lola had seen my prototype.

“They think you’re suicidal,” she said. “They think you like hurting yourself.”


“Well?” she demanded. “What else are people meant to think?”

“Do people get their vision laser-corrected because they like hurting themselves? Is that why they pierce their ears? People who work out at the gym, are they mentally ill because they’re prepared to endure a little short-term suffering in order to make their bodies work better? The only difference between them and me is I have access to better technology.” Lola sucked in breath, but I was too riled up to stop. “And I don’t have pain because it’s my goal. I have pain because it’s an unavoidable side-effect of the human body’s design being so conceptually flawed that the only way to implement significant improvements is to scrap what’s there and start over.”

From Lola’s expression, I realized I had gone too far. She began to move. “Wait,” I said. “Let me rephrase.” But she was leaning closer. Before I realized what was happening, she kissed me.


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This is where site members post comments. If you're not a member, you can join here. There are all kinds of benefits, including moral superiority!

Machine Man subscriber Ian Manka (#3916)

Location: Los Angeles, California (school) | Akron, Ohio (home)
Quote: "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
Posted: 5544 days ago

Machine Man sings the hottest machine-lovin' hits, like:

"Pain Is Just a Side Effect"
"I'll Would Do Anything For Love (Yes, I Will Even Crush My Leg)"
"I'm Not Suicidal, I Just Have Technology"

Why don't more people fall in love with Dr. Neumann?

Machine Man subscriber Impotent Verse (#3907)

Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 5544 days ago

Love Triangle!

I think I made a previous comment about Lola banks and her 'love' for prosthetics.

Machine Man subscriber coolpillows (#3749)

Location: new york general sort of vicinity
Quote: ""It's not working" -- Joseph Clark"
Posted: 5544 days ago

ah...the love interest begins. <birds chirping> with a nurse named "lola" it was destiny.

Ajna (#3795)

Location: USA
Quote: "Judge if you want. We are all going to die one day. I intend to deserve it."
Posted: 5544 days ago

Some people have nurses, some have bondage, Lola has prosthetics.

Machine Man subscriber David (#1456)

Location: Sydney, Australia
Quote: "Why are the pretty ones always insane?"
Posted: 5544 days ago

And this one has sadistic lawyers too! Bondage nurses, with prosthetics, and sadistic lawyers--it don't get any weirder than that!

Machine Man subscriber Impotent Verse (#3907)

Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 5544 days ago

@David: Have you not seen the Lola Banks pr0n film back catalogue?

Alex Hall (#3610)

Location: Ohio, USA
Quote: ""¡Hasta la victoria siempre!" —Ernesto "Che" Guevara"
Posted: 5544 days ago

This is really getting good.

Machine Man subscriber Impotent Verse (#3907)

Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 5544 days ago

For reference...

Machine Man subscriber V (#3431)

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "It is a mockery of divine justice to believe that a saint and a sinner are on level terms from the moment they die"
Posted: 5544 days ago

NO! A kiss?
She's the Scully to his Mulder,
the Lois to his Clark.
They are not meant to kiss!

Machine Man subscriber Yannick (#3858)

Location: Heist, Belgium
Quote: "he reads things"
Posted: 5544 days ago

10 bucks he'll forget about it after his next benzo-8 session

towr (#1914)

Location: Netherlands
Posted: 5544 days ago

"Nice kiss, but I think I could improve it through technology"

Machine Man subscriber Joe M. (#3183)

Location: Texas
Quote: "Grooviness is essential"
Posted: 5544 days ago


Thomas (#1221)

Location: Germany
Quote: "One more, and I'm going to consider you my penpal."
Posted: 5544 days ago

Finally! 23 pages in, and just now it's getting naughty!
I feel obliged to employ even more exclamation marks than necessary!!!

Machine Man subscriber Todd (#3429)

Location: New York
Quote: "It's fun to have fun but you have to know how."
Posted: 5544 days ago

"her arms full of legs" -- this is my favorite line so far.

Mary Rose (#2854)

Location: San Francisco, CA
Quote: "go big or stay home"
Posted: 5544 days ago

Todd, it's like you read my mind! "...her arms full of legs" is brilliant.

Michael (#3884)

Location: Here
Quote: "Wait, what?"
Posted: 5544 days ago

I'm - not - crazy. Sound familiar? Loving it!

Machine Man subscriber Julie (#3943)

Location: Charlotte, NC
Quote: ""Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." -- Eleanor Roosevelt"
Posted: 5544 days ago

My BB wiped out and I didn't have time to check for email online. I am just now reading everything since page 18 and OMG I am hooked. This is getting really good!!

Machine Man subscriber Stygian Emperor (#2947)

Location: the Stygian Empire
Quote: "Flesh is a design flaw."
Posted: 5544 days ago

I love his philosophy.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 5543 days ago

Ooh, you guys like this page a lot more than I expected. I mean, than I was bracing for. Yay!

Machine Man subscriber Barbara (#3854)

Location: Canberra
Quote: "All models are wrong. Some models are useful."
Posted: 5543 days ago

<A HREF="">meanwhile, in real life</A>

Abgrund (#3357)

Location: Atlantis
Quote: ""Redeem your mind from the hockshops of authority." - Ayn Rand"
Posted: 5543 days ago

Anyone else care to hazard a diagnosis? (Charlie, not Lola, haven't seen enough of her yet). I'm leaning toward Schizoid Personality Disorder. From DSMIII-R 301.20, four required criteria:

(1) Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family.

Charlie doesn't appear to have had any visitors since his accident, other than lawyers and medical personnel, not even from his family - and this doesn't seem to bother him at all.

(3) Rarely, if ever, claims or appears to experience strong emotions, such as anger and joy.

He certainly seems detached, given the circumstances.

(5) Is indifferent to the praise and criticism of others.

Most of them, at least.

(6) Has no close friends or confidants (or only one) other than first-degree relatives.

Certainly appears to be the case.


(7) Displays constricted affect, e.g. is aloof, cold, rarely reciprocates gestures or facial expressions, such as smiles or nods.

Entirely plausible, based on the way other people seem to react to him.

Axis I, of course, is Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Depersonalization Disorder is also possible.

Axis III: Deferred.
Axis IV: Deferred.
Axis V: 10 (Persistent danger of severely hurting self).

Machine Man subscriber Impotent Verse (#3907)

Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 5541 days ago

@Abgrund: You just described most of the people I work with. I just put it down to the fact that high end nerds have low end Asperger's syndrome.

stanley becker (#5283)

Location: black hole
Posted: 4830 days ago

Max, you always evoke songs "and then I kissed her " I think is a Phil Spektor hit or maybe not?

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