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Machine Man (serial)

Page not ready!

This Machine Man page doesn’t exist yet.

18.

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Machine Man subscriber Felix (#4236)

Location: NZ
Quote: "I'm naked underneath my clothes"
Posted: 1772 days ago

Wow!

Machine Man subscriber Morlok8k (#4133)

Location: The Moon
Quote: "I like stuff..."
Posted: 1770 days ago

Wow indeed...

There is nothing more thrilling than this page of the book. I mean, how can you top "Page not ready! This Machine Man page doesn’t exist yet."? Max, with those 10 little words, you have created a beautiful masterpiece that I shall cherish forever...

Well, back to my lonely little life working at Zephyr, and holding an ice cold Fukk in my bionic hand that I bought with my US Alliance card...

Curious about the release dates of the movies,
- Tony Zephyr

Machine Man subscriber Shola Gordon (#3902)

Location: London, United Kingdom
Quote: "We are all history's middle children."
Posted: 1769 days ago

@Felix.
Sorry for sounding so ... erm, Ghetto? before. I obviously didn't realise it was accident due to my blatant blind stupidity. I thought you was an avid Barry fan spoiling the fun. Accept my apologise (please). :] Shola.

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 1767 days ago

I'm kinda tempted not to fix this bug now. It's like these comments are on a ship sailing off the end of the world. One day the story will conclude and there will be no more "Not Ready!" pages on which they can live. But we will remember them. We will remember.

Machine Man subscriber Impotent Verse (#3907)

Location: Cambridge, UK
Quote: "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog"
Posted: 1764 days ago

You know, you should totally contrive the story so that you can work a Friday page posting that says 'PAGE NOT READY!'

Maybe Page is a new character or something.

Machine Man subscriber CrystalR (#4160)

Posted: 1763 days ago

I used to know a girl called Page. She had an I in her name, but still.

She had one blue eye, and one brown eye, and one of them was a lazy eye.. but I forget which one.

Machine Man subscriber IpHa (#4118)

Posted: 1763 days ago

Page isn't ready? What is she not ready for? I must know! I await the next page.

Machine Man subscriber SexCpotatoes (#2188)

Location: Navarre, Ohio
Quote: ""Democracy is the theory that the common man knows what he wants, and deserves to get it good and hard." - H. L. Mencken"
Posted: 1762 days ago

Shush! All of you! You're gonna give the Page a bad case of performance anxiety and it will never come out. It will hold tight to page 70, and refuse to turn, we'll have to skip to page 71 and miss a full two pages of glorious plot and sub-plot.

Savages.

You can show your beautiful body any time you want, page 69. We promise not to judge you.

Machine Man subscriber Alex (#237)

Location: London, England
Quote: "We're today's scrambled creatures, locked in tomorrow's double feature (Bowie)"
Posted: 1751 days ago

Misquoting my favourite film:
"We'll always have Page."

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#4313)

Posted: 1741 days ago

And it is the end, the bitter end.
Until it isn't.

Machine Man subscriber Chemical Rascal (#3964)

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "Don't read this. It's not relevant to anything. Go away."
Posted: 1731 days ago

So this is what we are left to read on Saturday, flicking through endless pages of "PAGE NOT READY!" "PAGE NOT READY!" "PAGE NOT READY!".

I reckon that, if you go far enough ahead, the Next Page will appear...

Machine Man subscriber Toby O (#2900)

Location: Sydney
Quote: "You can't sell your soul to the devil if he's not buying"
Posted: 1729 days ago

'sokay I'm not ready either, page.

Machine Man subscriber ellwood (#4245)

Location: New York
Quote: "Everbody has a plan until they get punched in the face."
Posted: 1718 days ago

He was Italian. Born and raised in Martina Franca, a small city in Puglia (the heel of the boot).He lived through "The War" and had learned to appreciate the small things we all take for granted. Cold water. Hot water. Freshly baked bread. And patience.
"There will be another day, he said consoling himself. " There will be another page...sono sicuro...domani...presto...qui."

Machine Man subscriber Electrichead (#3898)

Location: Toronto
Posted: 1713 days ago

@Pev maybe it could be like someone is trying to hack together various bits of technologies to send out an emergency message. The only way to send a message without being tracked is the ancient technology of the pager. So you are sitting at a terminal and hacking together something to send your emergency message through Machine Man's pager-thing and you get a message back saying ...

Machine Man subscriber Mapuche (#1184)

Location: Darwin, Australia
Quote: "Inconceivable!"
Posted: 1709 days ago

I always get the message back that says:

Want to leave a comment, Mapuche?

Machine Man subscriber Morlok8k (#4133)

Location: The Moon
Quote: "I like stuff..."
Posted: 1709 days ago

@Mapuche: Interesting... for me it always asks me, "Want to leave a comment, Morlok8k?"

Usually I type in "No!" but I never click the button cause that would confuse other people...

Machine Man subscriber Morlok8k (#4133)

Location: The Moon
Quote: "I like stuff..."
Posted: 1709 days ago

No!

Machine Man subscriber Trevor (#4081)

Posted: 1707 days ago

Some reputable website needs to start handing out an annual "best bug" award. I'll nominate you.

Machine Man subscriber CrystalR (#4160)

Posted: 1707 days ago

I'm sorry, I just don't think I'm ready for that kind of committment!

Machine Man subscriber Isaac (#4089)

Posted: 1675 days ago

Chemical Rascal..... I'm at either page 1 million or 1 billion. I'm too tired to tell. But it still says page not ready YET.

Machine Man subscriber CrystalR (#4160)

Posted: 1611 days ago

We've had some good times together, Paige. I hope you show up in the paperback... as a Better Future tech or something.

I think you're ready.

Machine Man subscriber Morlok8k (#4133)

Location: The Moon
Quote: "I like stuff..."
Posted: 1602 days ago

Paige (or Page, if you want to use the Australian spelling of the name :) wont show up till the last page of the book - and she will be a minor character... I think she might be an actress in a local theater or something. Someone will yell, "Paige! We're ready for you!" moments before Charlie busts in and accidentally kicks her as he is running from the Better Future people yet again. Charlie will think to himself the following thought because his emotional state isn't quite stable at that moment of time, "No, I dont think Paige is ready!"

Or better yet: substitute Charlie and have it be a flashback during his time with Lola - With Lola telling Charlie this story on either his deathbed, or on a romantic beach - your call.

Either way, there could only be one short paragraph after he says/thinks that line, that ends the book.

But in the novel, Paige is a minor recurring character...

Machine Man subscriber Morlok8k (#4133)

Location: The Moon
Quote: "I like stuff..."
Posted: 1602 days ago

Edit to the post above:

...
Or better yet: substitute Charlie with Carl and have it be a flashback during his time with Lola...

Machine Man subscriber Ben (#3924)

Location: Alberta, Canada
Quote: "I don't wanna ride the elevator."
Posted: 1602 days ago

Paige is hardly a minor recurring character, she occurs on the vast majority of pages, far more pages than you can possibly count. Unfortunately, she seems to be rather incompetent as she never is ready.

Machine Man subscriber coolpillows (#3749)

Location: new york general sort of vicinity
Quote: ""It's not working" -- Joseph Clark"
Posted: 1598 days ago

I just figured, day before the last page, I'd add a link to my comments around page 128 about "PAGE NOT READY"...it's a related thread that should be tied in here.

http://www.maxbarry.com/machineman/page.html?p=128

Machine Man subscriber Dave (#4576)

Location: UK
Quote: "Ever sift sand through a screen? ... We Bene Gesserit sift people to find the humans. (Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam, Dune) "
Posted: 1598 days ago

So this is the last day this Page is available.

You will be sorely missed, but I willtake solace in the wise words of Holly (Red Dwarf)

" Time is a great healer. Unless it's a rash, then you're better off with ointment. "

Machine Man subscriber Felix (#4236)

Location: NZ
Quote: "I'm naked underneath my clothes"
Posted: 1597 days ago

Page still not ready, nor will it ever be.

Machine Man subscriber Ian Manka (#3916)

Location: Los Angeles, California (school) | Akron, Ohio (home)
Quote: "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
Posted: 1597 days ago

I wonder if the content of this page will be changed to some snarky comment like, "You just read the last page. It's the end. There isn't an epilogue to the epilogue. There is no more."

That'd be cool.

Machine Man subscriber Yannick (#3858)

Location: Heist, Belgium
Quote: "he reads things"
Posted: 1597 days ago

The "yet" stares me in the face blankly. Makes me wonder if it's extremely hidden in plain sight, or just over-the-top sarcastic.

Machine Man subscriber Alan W (#1427)

Location: Spokane, Washington
Quote: "Corgis are like potato chips"
Posted: 1597 days ago

Epilogue:

Page, Charlie and Lola stood in the sunset (Charlie could see a wider gamut, he especially enjoyed the way the UV range was rendering this evening), it had been a long year and they were all looking forward to the vacation that Even Better Future(R) had promised them after defeating the ...

<feel free to continue the story!>

Machine Man subscriber Justin (#3965)

Location: USA
Quote: "It has been my experience that certain men get ahead during the time that others waste. - Henry Ford"
Posted: 1597 days ago

Max, you HAVE to put this at the end of the novel: "Page Not Ready!"

Machine Man subscriber SilverKnight (#2210)

Location: St. Louis
Posted: 1597 days ago

Thanks for helping me find this, Max! And I agree with Justin et al that "Page" should be a little in-joke for we few, we mighty band of $6.95 warriors here for the beginning.

Machine Man subscriber Ian Manka (#3916)

Location: Los Angeles, California (school) | Akron, Ohio (home)
Quote: "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
Posted: 1596 days ago

@Alan:

Oh dear, this might become an official outlet for people to write fan fiction of "Machine Man." I'm not an expert in this field, but I don't think that's a good idea. But it does evolve to that point, we'll call it "Machine Man: The Chronicles of Page." Or, "Not Yet Ready: The Nonexistent Chronicles of Page."

I really need to stop.

Machine Man subscriber Justin (#3965)

Location: USA
Quote: "It has been my experience that certain men get ahead during the time that others waste. - Henry Ford"
Posted: 1596 days ago

Now that you must manipulate the url to get here, it's really like a VIP lounge!

=) Cheers to the "in" group!

Machine Man subscriber Max

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "I'm my number one fan!"
Posted: 1596 days ago

I was going to change the text to say, "Page does not exist," then realized what horrible ramifications that would have for our heroine.

Machine Man subscriber Alan W (#1427)

Location: Spokane, Washington
Quote: "Corgis are like potato chips"
Posted: 1596 days ago

@Ian, it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, I think I can sum it up...

... after defeating cliche epilogue that Alan had written.
"Man, that wore me out!" Page complained.
"It was a lot of running around." Agreed Lola
"WELL, YOU COULD GET SOME 'UPGRADES' PAGE" Suggested Charlie, he never did get those font upgrades, there never seemed to be time.
"I dunnow," Page said with a sigh, "I just don't think I'm ready yet..."


=D

Machine Man subscriber Chemical Rascal (#3964)

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "Don't read this. It's not relevant to anything. Go away."
Posted: 1596 days ago

@Ian:

What do you mean, that isn't a good idea? It's... it's... it's brilliant! *Moves hands around rapidly*

Machine Man subscriber Justin (#3965)

Location: USA
Quote: "It has been my experience that certain men get ahead during the time that others waste. - Henry Ford"
Posted: 1595 days ago

You could move those hands around a lot faster if you would get Charlie's complete torso machine makeover.

Machine Man subscriber Dave (#4576)

Location: UK
Quote: "Ever sift sand through a screen? ... We Bene Gesserit sift people to find the humans. (Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam, Dune) "
Posted: 1595 days ago

Thank you for keeping this page alive Max. And making it only accessible by URL manipulation does give it a VIP status I guess.
Can I take back my previous comments on its sad demise ?

Machine Man subscriber Chemical Rascal (#3964)

Location: Melbourne, Australia
Quote: "Don't read this. It's not relevant to anything. Go away."
Posted: 1590 days ago

@Justin: I'm not ready for that.

Machine Man subscriber Ian Manka (#3916)

Location: Los Angeles, California (school) | Akron, Ohio (home)
Quote: "Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance."
Posted: 1588 days ago

Okay, everyone, let's meet up again here at this secret location when we've finished reading "Machine Man" a second time. But (SHH) don't tell anyone the secret location, as only cool people know how to get here.

See you August 19, 2010 (if my math is correct). As a consequence, "friffhangers" will be renamed "miffhangers," which sounds kinda dirty.

Machine Man subscriber Hyper (#4612)

Location: Texas, USA
Quote: ""A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. " --Mark Twain"
Posted: 1588 days ago

What day should we have started rereading? I think I am going to catch up this past week, and then keep up with ya'll for this meeting. That way I won't feel so left behind, as I have the past few days reading this all by myself. It was lonely...

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