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Max Barry wrote the novels Syrup, Jennifer Government, Company, Machine Man, and Lexicon. He also created the game NationStates and once found a sock full of pennies.

Blog

Thu 13
Jan
2005

Brad Pitt Rectifies Syrup Gag

Syrup But first, an update on the Syrup film situation. Here’s where we’re at: Fortress liked my draft script, but wanted to hear more about my vision for the last two thirds of the film. I said, “That sounds a bit like you want me to sketch out the whole screenplay for no money,” and they said, “Well…” and proceeded to flatter me until I agreed to do it. So right now I’m putting the finishing touches on a draft structure for the film, on the understanding that they’ll then decide (Donald Trump-style) whether I’m hired or not. If they turn me down, we have agreed that I get to fly over to LA and beat them to death.

But back to the headline story: finally, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston are splitting up! I was thrilled to hear this, because finally that bit in Syrup where Cindy’s goal is to marry Brad Pitt will make sense again. This has been bugging me for years, and I’m really glad Brad (or I guess it was Jen) had the decency to make things right.

Maybe everyone knew this already, but I just found out that those two originally met on a blind date. I tell you what, if a friend sets you up on a blind date with Brad Pitt or Jennifer Anniston, you’d be fairly happy, wouldn’t you? I keep hearing these dating horror stories; how come nobody ever tells the ones where their blind date turned out to be one of the most desirable human beings on the planet?

Which, I reckon, was Brad and Jennifer’s problem. I mean, imagine you’re Brad Pitt. Okay, I’ll give you a few moments. Now imagine waking up one morning, perhaps after a particularly big night, and wandering to the bathroom. You’re halfway there and you realize that Jen is looking at you from the bed. You’re standing there, your hair all flat and stupid-looking, your eyes bloodshot, caught in the middle of scratching yourself in that place where men scratch when nobody’s around, and you can totally read Jen’s expression. It’s: “So this is the world’s sexiest man.”

Comments

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Machine Man subscriber Devin (#100)

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Quote: ""Toast sweat! It's the scourge of our time!""
Posted: 3513 days ago

That's the most refreshing view of the Bradiffer split I've heard yet. I'm sick of our local L.A. "Action" news bumping Tsunami coverage for people talking about how they were the perfect couple and what a shame it is blah blah blah. The media sucks. But isn't thinking that media sucks a prerequisite to visiting this fine spot on the web? I really need to stop preaching to the choir...

Narain (#824)

Location: Los Angeles, right between civilization and a desert
Quote: "NI!"
Posted: 3513 days ago

Living in LA, I agree with Devin. Now maybe if you could somehow get jennifer anniston cast as Cindy, then it would really be funny.

shabooty (#637)

Location: D.C./V.A/M.D.
Quote: "I will shake your foundation. I will shake the f**cking rafters. Nobody'll be the same -Danny Bonaduce ....& go visit my blog @: http://www.shabooty.com"
Posted: 3513 days ago

I wonder if Fortress has "The Donald's EAGLE CLAW" you're fired or hired move down to an art form.

Who was this post for...for your cave dwelling readers, who pride themselves on being the last mo fos to know shit, Jen and Brad breaking up...
(just kidding of course).

now it's time for Brad to go hunt for some punnany with George or should I say, have the haynannys prey upon them!

sha-
http://bahahs.blogspot.com

Helen (#362)

Location: UK
Posted: 3513 days ago

I think it makes us all feel better to think Brad Pitt looks shoddy at one in the morning.

Jay (#927)

Location: Chicago
Quote: "Ryan has willfully and intentionally caused Bungie to deprive O’Donnell of accrued but unused vacation time, paid time off, sabbatical time, and other benefits," it states."
Posted: 3513 days ago

Brad Pitt...shoddy..? Blasphemy!

Justin Holt (#147)

Location: Rochester, NY
Quote: "www.justinholt.net"
Posted: 3513 days ago

The way you put it, Max, it makes it sound as if any one of us could turn around and see a Jennifer Aniston in our beds at one in the morning. Now that would be nice...

Congrats on the script news as well. Although the entire thing sounds a bit like Sneaky Pete trying to hear the Fukk news from Scat before he goes off and...

Ah hell...

Kat (#299)

Location: My bedroom
Quote: ""The abolition of man is within the reach of science""
Posted: 3513 days ago

Congradulations on the script.

This has nothing to do with Brad and Jennifer, but has anyone from Coke ever take your "Wouldn't you die for a coke?" ad?

Machine Man subscriber Machine (#957)

Posted: 3513 days ago

I've always assumed I was the world's sexiest man. Who is this Mr Pitt?

Becky (#835)

Quote: "Oh! I get it now!"
Posted: 3513 days ago

I heard Brad had an affair with Angelina Jolie

Super (#600)

Location: The Netherlands
Quote: "I'm not deaf I'm just ignoring you!"
Posted: 3512 days ago

Huzzah, Maxxy gets the job! Someone got to be possitive...

Super (#600)

Location: The Netherlands
Quote: "I'm not deaf I'm just ignoring you!"
Posted: 3512 days ago

Or positive... ;)

kadclow (#285)

Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posted: 3512 days ago

you know whats funny. I always imagined Jen as Cindy, even if she never married Brad.

shalini (#717)

Location: http://www.kai-india.com
Posted: 3511 days ago

i know who i'd like to see play cindy. she has to be a blonde amazon with attitude, right? there is only one woman for the part... the original goldilock-zilla, gwen stefani. she'd go off, especially in the 'cindy-chucks-a-mental' bits.

Diane (#972)

Location: Fort Worth, TX'
Quote: "Pretty enough for all normal purposes."
Posted: 3510 days ago

You know, all things considered, I wouldn't mind finding Brad Pitt in my bedroom in the morning, flat hair or not.

Tim (#930)

Location: Benalla, Australia
Quote: "I LIKE SQUID!!!"
Posted: 3510 days ago

What I find most ammusing about that is the 'worlds sexiest man' needs to be set up on a blind date.

I mean what the hell? If he can't make it in the dating world surely the superficial side of the game has f*@ itself in the A$$?

metaphorically speaking that is.

Dan (#579)

Location: Shanghai, China
Quote: ""Scio me nihil scire.""
Posted: 3509 days ago

Good luck on the script Barry, is it gonna be a chick flick or what?

Pirate (#979)

Location: Portland, OR
Quote: "Judge me by the way I treat those who can do nothing for me."
Posted: 3509 days ago

No way do I buy the "Blind date" line. It is too Hollywood. What steams me regarding the break up is apparently the Bradster left Jen for my dream maiden, Angelina Jolie.

Tim (#930)

Location: Benalla, Australia
Quote: "I LIKE SQUID!!!"
Posted: 3508 days ago

I'd leave jen for Angelina, I've had a crush on her ever since tomb raider.

which is weird because I thought the movie was horrible crap.

j/k, but the movie was crap.

Matt Worley (#983)

Location: Anaheim
Quote: "NTSC Video has a Frame rate of 29.97 fps"
Posted: 3508 days ago

Holy Crap, I just finished Syrup. BRILLIANT! If you need any help shooting this thing, I'd love to help with the project, even if you need to shoot some shorts to show around. I cant wait to see this book put to film, it really deserves it.

Cass (#984)

Location: Canada
Quote: "I will cut you"
Posted: 3507 days ago

On one hand, you get a job and Syrup is made into a moive.

On the other hand, you might get the kick the shit out of some movie producers.

This is pretty much a win-win situation for you.

Paula O'Connor (#1073)

Location: Kenosha,WI
Quote: ""If you only walk on sunny days, you will never reach your destination" --Native American"
Posted: 3454 days ago

I actually do not think Brad Pitt is the sexist man alive or Jen the sexist woman alive. They seemed to me to be people I would meet in highschool, ok they would most likely be in the popular group.Maybe they would be voted Prom King and Queen and the most popular couple in the school. Where was I going with this?

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